Clean Slate

Chapter 1

My name is Fitz Grant. I have been through a lot in just a few months. I am the President of the United States and I had no idea how hard and dangerous it could be. One moment I am on the high, the most powerful man in the world and then in a blink of an eye my Presidency is about to come crashing down through blackmail and a strange twist of fate. I would die for her. Olivia Pope. She is the epitome of perfection. I love her so much it’s hard to breathe when I am around her. She is my soul mate the love of my life, but she is neither my wife nor the mother of my children. We are just connected in a way that I believe the guy upstairs ordained our meeting. I have always been the good guy because my ultimate goal was to help others and the ultimate way would be to become the President. My wife Mellie who I met at Harvard Law School was the perfect wife. She was beautiful smart and had all the connections. So I chose her because this was my end game. I needed a formidable First Lady. Back then, I had no time to be like young men my age. I was always alone in my world. Had all the money and a good family name but I craved love but it never happened. I never let it. My mother died when I was born so I was raised by nannies and I think my dad never forgave me because he kept pushing me to be perfect. He never told me he loved me and that’s all I ever wanted from him. I wanted it badly and cried of emptiness sometimes. When I became governor finally he told me he loved me but it was too late I was already damaged. My goal of being the President consumed me and dare I say kept me sane. It’s funny I was at the door of achieving that goal and she came into my life. My Livie, my chance at being normal even if it was in a fantasy world. She saved me from my demons. Right now I have so many questions running through my mind. It amazes me how this beautiful woman of color captured my heart. About 5 feet 7 inches with the most beautiful eyes I have ever looked into she reminded me of a cool nerd but I kept thinking of her. So crazy how I wanted to be next to her, touch her, see her smile. I admired her because while she was strong she had a big heart. I saw myself in her. Mellie is gorgeous but I never loved her. Sometimes I feel guilty for using her as the perfect good wife but in ways she used me too. She was in love with some else. The brilliant Turkish international student at Harvard and her father forbade her from seeing him and when she got pregnant I offered to marry her and raise Gerry as my own. I gave him my name Fitzgerald Thomas Grant 4. Don’t get me wrong I love the boy but she owes me as much as I owe her and then there is Karen my princess, my little girl whom I named after the mother I never got to meet. Before Olivia she was the reason I had stayed so long in the marriage but now I was President because of Olivia and I found her because I decided to be President. She was the PR person of my campaign and we fell in love. We didn’t plan it. It just happened. I tried to ignore those feelings but I noticed her blush anytime I looked at her and it hit me. She was feeling the same way. I struggled with going after her. Would she respect me or think of me as a dirty man? I had to try. At 45 I was in love for the first time. I knew it was love because after spending time together on the campaign trail she was always on my mind. She was my drug my fix. I had to see her beautiful face. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t try.

I still remember knocking on her hotel door in New Hampshire.
“Is everything okay Governor”, she asked. “No”, I replied. “Why are you here it’s two in the morning?”  “I know this sounds crazy but I can’t stop thinking about you. You are so smart and funny and sweet and you take care of me”, I said searching her face for answers. She sighed and asked ‘Why is this happening’? “I need you Olivia”.  “Did I lead you on, I am sorry” “No I love you” I said interrupting her. “You make me happy I can’t imagine you not being in my life”  “This is wrong you are married with 2 kids who smile at me” “I know, I know I have struggled but I love you, I need you in my life” “Mellie?” “I don’t love her.” “Sometimes marriage is not just about love and passion. It is about mutual needs; it’s a partnership. I know you must think I loved her at one time, maybe I don’t know, but we are barely coexisting now. It’s a façade, it’s for show.” Then I kissed her. Her lips were so soft and I deepened the kiss before she could protest. I needed to control this. I needed her to want this. I knew her head was telling her it was wrong but I didn’t care. If we are guilty of anything it’s of being in love but unavailable. I knew her heart was feeling just what I was feeling. So I pulled away. “Look at me. Tell me you don’t feel what I am feeling and I promise you we will pretend this never happened.” “Fitz, I am so scared I should protect you from things like this.”  “You have saved me and protected me more than you know.” She couldn’t speak again and I knew her silence meant consent.

“Livie”, I whispered taking in her aroma. There was no going back now.

“I just wanted to say….” she started. But before she had a chance to finish her sentence, I kissed her again carried her to the bed and ravaged her entire body with my mouth and hands while she writhed in pleasure beneath me.


After a round of intensely passionate lovemaking, she lay awake and completely sated in my arms. All I could think about was how wonderfully perfect the last two hours had been. “Just thinking how wonderful this has been”, I said smiling and kissed her lightly on the lips.

“It has been pretty damn amazing hasn’t it? But
I’m scared I’m going to wake up any moment and find you gone, and realize this whole thing was nothing but a dream”.

“Trust me Livie, its real. You and me, it’s real”, I replied, kissing her again before wrapping her securely in my arms. Now get some sleep because we have a busy day tomorrow”.


Chapter 2

Clean Slate

After that night we were rarely apart. I wanted to be with her every waking moment but ever the strategist she disagreed with me. She said I wore my heart on my sleeve. Nonetheless we made time to be together. “People will know”, she said. I didn’t care about that but I respected her enough to be more discreet. Cyrus Beene, who had been my right hand man in California actually brought Olivia in and loved her so much. It was the best of both worlds for me. My two best friends were best friends as well. I told Cyrus everything. I just could not tell him about Olivia. She was too special. I promised myself I would guard that secret. I saw my polls rise with all the strategies and advise her expertise gave to the campaign. Everyone loved Olivia even Mellie. But I felt Mellie was a bit obsessed with Olivia. Every moment she got she would gush about her to me. I pretended that I wasn’t paying attention. I guess my guilty conscience was getting the best of me. Not because of Mellie but because of Gerry and Karen. I love those kids and to them our marriage was perfect. I began to imagine the what ifs. If I lost the election I would not run for Governor of California again. Would I leave Mellie? How would the kids feel? Would I go back to Santa Barbara while my Livie remained in D.C. where she’s from? Well I had no time to think of it then. We were always busy with speech writing, meeting donors and then I met him. Samuel Hunter, the wealthy donor who promised to give $10 million to my campaign. I noticed him and Olivia seemed a bit too friendly. Anger welled up. Was he a lover? That night in anger I literally banged on her door.”Open up Olivia” “We weren’t supposed to meet till tomorrow baby.” I ignored her. “Who is Samuel Hunter to you?” She laughed. “Fitz he’s an old friend.” “I don’t like the way he was looking at you.” “Neither did I Fitz but he is a big donor so I had to put up with it”  “Like a little whore right? Have you slept with him before,” I asked angrily. “Really Fitz you a married man have the gall to ask me such a stupid question. Get out I won’t speak to you when you get like this”. I sighed and began to apologize. “I am sorry I just don’t want to lose you. I can’t bear to. You are mine.” “Fitz, Sam and I are good friends. He was once interested but I wasn’t. He is married and no we never had an affair. I guess being inappropriate with you makes me a whore right”, she said with hurt in her eyes. I apologized once again. “Please just for one minute look at me.”  “No.”  “Please.” “Okay”, she says uneasily. “One minute.” I take her in and my heart swells even more and even though she is ten years my junior I imagine how my life would have turned out if I had met her at Harvard instead of Mellie. I imagine her as my wife, the mother of my children and for the first time my head reconciles with my heart that this isn’t fair to her. Am I being a selfish bastard? Yes the sex is good but it’s more than that. I should ask her if she feels dirty about this affair. I start to but my heart and legs walk towards her and I am lost once again in her eyes. I kiss her as if my life depends on it. At this point she is crying but she gives in and I carry her to bed and we make love as if this will be our last day together. I am always aware that anything can happen and this will end. I block out those rational thoughts and try my best to please her in every way I can. I derive my joy in giving her what she needs. Her moaning and cries of my name assure me she wants to be here. When I feel her climax I let go to. It’s beautiful music. So emotional. “You should go back”, she says. “I know. But I want to stay here.” “Mellie comes tomorrow Fitz. She will know.” “I don’t want you to feel I am here for this.” “It’s complicated but I love you Fitz. It’s my cross and I carry it because I know you get me. I am weird you know but you get me.”  “Livie you are the only sane person in this relationship. Sweet baby, you saved me.”

She laughs and kisses me. “Fitz I want to hear you call me sweet baby and mean it”, she says. “Your wish is my command.” I literally wanted her to feel and know she is that to me. We make love again and all I can remember is whispering sweet baby over and over again and sleeping off and waking up by 6: 30 am.

I rush out and to my surprise Mellie is there. “When did you get here?” “I got here last night. I wanted to surprise you but I guess you made other plans. “Um I was with Cyrus.” “No you weren’t, so who is she this time?  I could not say a thing. “Fitz you are running for President and I am your wife. You have always told me when you need someone and I make that arrangement why are you hiding it now.” I was a man that had needs but ever since Karen was born 10 years ago and the news of  Mellie’s  former college  lover’s suicide got to us, I could  count on my fingers how many times I have been intimate with my wife. She always brought escorts for me. They were always sworn to secrecy. “So who is she Fitz? I would never tell her but her silence told me she knew. “Do you love her?” “It’s real this time Mellie.” “So did you make love tonight?  “We don’t have to talk about this.”  “I know its Olivia”, she says matter of factly. “How did you know,” I ask.  “I see her look at you, I see you. I know that look because you never look at me like you look at her.” For a brief moment I felt Mellie was sad.  “So is she really that good? Or is it because she is different you are drawn to her.” “What?”  “I wonder how your racist dad would feel about you having a black mistress.” “Mellie”, I say becoming irritated.  “This is the twenty first century I don’t know what you are insinuating but she is decent and lovely. We are done with this conversation.” “Ok. Guess we pose for ice cream pictures today right. At least you slept like a baby.”


Clean Slate

Chapter 3

My affair with Olivia lasted for twenty three months. I still remember when she resigned. I had spent five months in office and she was done. It got harder to be discreet. She said she felt we were being watched but I doubted that. In hindsight I should have listened to her gut. I never told Olivia Mellie knew about our affair. I underestimated Mellie and if I knew what I know now the outcome would be different. This would not have happened. For some reason Mellie decides to attack at a dinner I held for my advisors and cabinet members in a subtle way. “So I love your perfume Olivia and I peeked in your bag and I saw your birth control pills. I didn’t know you were seeing someone.”  Cyrus joking says, “So who’s the lucky guy?” This wasn’t right. I had to talk. “Why are we discussing Livie’s love life? I am not a woman but birth control is used for other reasons too right.” Nervously she says, “Yes Mr. President.” “Olivia, don’t be so formal. When you and Fitz are working overnight to achieve a goal you call him Fitz. You know you are his work wife right?” Mellie says laughing. That pushed Olivia over the wall. It was too much to take coupled with what happened a month prior to that. We hadn’t been careful and Olivia got pregnant. I asked her to resign and she was ready to that and lay low for a while. But then she started getting numerous emails saying, “I know what you did last summer.” At first I thought she was exaggerating so I pleaded with her to go on vacation. So she did but stayed in her apartment .We talked about what the next plan was and despite the stress I was sure I loved her more every passing day. Then it happened. According to Olivia, Mellie visited her and brought chicken soup. She didn’t want to take it. She had felt guilty but this woman whose husband she was sleeping with came to see her. She decides to drink it. An hour after she left Livie went to the hospital and had a miscarriage. I went to visit. “She knows Fitz. She killed my baby.”  “No she wouldn’t do that. Get some rest ok.” “I had to be strong for her but my heart was breaking. I had just lost my baby and my Livie was in distress. Two weeks later she came back to work aloof and distant. When I tried to kiss her she shunned me. I became upset. Did she expect me to give up my presidency for her? I needed her to wait but she said she was done waiting. After that dinner and Mellie’s embarrassing remarks she resigned. I pleaded with her but she didn’t budge. Not only had she resigned but she left me utterly empty. I was so codependent on her and she left me. Was she right? Did Mellie do this? I had to know.

“Did you try to poison her?” “Who Olivia? What?” “The day you went to see her did you put anything in her soup.” She smiled then hissed.  “You are a weak bastard you know. Who are you fooling Fitz? Your entire staff knows you are screwing Olivia and that thing”, she spits out.  “It was my baby you had no right, you murderer.” She gives a wicked laugh. “Call the cops I would love to see you try.” “I am protecting you from yourself Fitz. I will not have you bring any lovechild to partake in what is rightfully belongs to my children. People would know the bastard was yours.” “Really but who knew your bastard son isn’t really mine?” With that she slapped me. “How dare you? My son is Fitzgerald Thomas Grant 4.Blue blood runs through his veins and you will keep it that way.” “He deserves to know the truth Mellie.” “That is not an option.”   “So I save you and your son and you kill my baby. That wasn’t the deal Mellie you will pay for this .I could just resign and this will end.” Then she laughed. “Really are you planning to run off together?”  “You wouldn’t dare, admit it Fitz she is just a booty call. You will never give up the Presidency for her.”  “Know this woman, she as a booty call is ten times the woman you will ever be.”  From that moment I knew I was dealing with a dangerous ambitious woman whose hearts was seared with iron.

I missed Olivia but she wouldn’t talk to me. Six months passed by and Mellie recruited Amanda into the White House. “Fitz I brought you a nice decent girl. She will be good for you.” “I am perfectly fine.” You’ll need her soon. I like her. She is a good girl.” “No thanks I will be fine. America needs me. That will keep me busy.”  “Well Amanda is here at anytime”, she offered. Today was Olivia’s birthday. I called but she didn’t pickup. She didn’t even have the decency to call back. It’s been ten months and she hadn’t called not even once. I decide to get drunk that day and then Amanda walked in. “Are you okay sir?” “No she left me and I am here drowning. Why are you women terrible?” “Who”, she asks. I fear I have said too much. “Never mind.” “I like you a lot Mr. President. You are definitely sexy and I can make you feel better.” She attempts to kiss me and I give in. I kissed her back and thought I could dull the pain but the pain was still there so I pushed her away. “No Amanda this is inappropriate.” “But no one has to know let me help you Mr. President.” “But I will know. Go home okay.” She rushed out in anger and the next day fearing her embarrassment I pretended as if it didn’t happen. A month later Cyrus came to me with rumors of my sleeping with Amanda. “I did not do it.” “This is a mess Mr. President” I knew the solution. I would see her again and she would make this scandal go away. “Go see Olivia she will fix this”, I ordered him.


Clean Slate

Chapter 4

I had just resolved a case that really hit home. A young pop star with a pristine image and a reputation as America’s sweetheart had been blackmailed by her married jilted manager. He threatened to release their sex tape in retaliation because she decided to move on without him. Now if she had a bad girl image it would be okay but Ali Slater made her millions as Disney’s biggest sensation since Miley Cyrus. We cut him short in his tracks, destroyed the evidence and in turn blackmailed him. Apparently Mr. Manager had a thing for 14 year old girls and we had that in his illustrious collection of tapes. It felt good to solve people’s problems.

My name is Olivia Pope and that’s what I do. My gladiators and I resolve issues. I have no family but my beloved mother who I barely see. My gladiators are my family. They give me unconditional love and in essence make me a better person. I have to be tough but I also lead with my gut and my heart. The crew and I were determined to celebrate this victory. Ali Slater had given us a bonus of $1 million along with the $500,000 upfront. It felt good. “Olivia, you need to start dating”, Stephen Finch said. “You know I am not normal.” “I want you to be happy, Stephen said sadly.” “You guys make me happy.” “Have you spoken to him lately?” “Who”, I asked playing dumb. “You know who Mr. President.”  “Why should I?” Stephen Finch was a womanizer in the worst way but a darn good friend. He had his issues but he loved helping people. He helped me when I was down and out. I am very private about my emotions but Stephen was like my brother. When he had a mental breakdown I went to be with him in Florida and he never forgot. A year ago I was on the verge of my own nervous breakdown and then I told him. He didn’t judge me he let me cry and said “Liv your secret is safe with me.”  He actually sided with this man, my lover. He said he understood where he was coming from but ultimately he was on my side and would protect me fiercely. Ours was a brother sister love story. He was my brother from a different mother. “No Stephen I have not spoken to the President. Why should I?”  “Today remember.”  “I know it’s his birthday. It’s too painful to see him now.” With that my phone rang. “Hello, Hi Cyrus long times no hear. Maybe tomorrow. Stop by my office.” I wonder what Cyrus wanted to say. It had been so long.


The next day I met him in my waiting room. We hugged. I love this man. He was like a father to me. “How are you Olivia?”  “I am good. How is your mother?”  “I see her occasionally. She enjoys the weather in Florida. Can’t stand DC again.”  “Good.”  “How is James?” “He is fine.” After a brief awkward silence he started. “The President needs to see you.”  “Why?”  “There’s this silly little girl obsessed with him and she’s been telling everyone the President and her are together.”  “Well are they?” “No Fitz and Mellie are determined to make the marriage work. She never leaves his side.”  I shouldn’t be worried but just the thought of their reconciliation worried me. The emotions of last year came flooding back. “I need to see him alone.”  “Come to the White House.”  “No I would prefer he come to Camp David. I need to hear his side of the story before I decide if it’s worth it.”  “Why the animosity. You guys were a great team before. You gave up eighteen months on the trail to get him elected and just up and left. You should be reaping the rewards of your labor. I never got my answer Olivia why did you leave.”  “I just wanted to do my own thing. Besides he has you and I know because of that he will be okay.” “I will give him a call right now.”  Thoughts rushed through my mind. Would he want to talk to me on the phone? “Okay Mr. President I will tell her. Yes 11 am tomorrow. Hold on for her. “Hi”, he said is that deep set voice that use to get to me every time and from my reaction still had the same effect. “Hi Mr. President, how are you.”  “It’s been a stressful year but it is what it is. So Livie Cyrus says 11 tomorrow is okay with you.” “Sure I’ll be there.” Before his voice could draw me in more I hung up.

I thought he was my past but hearing him sent tingles throughout my body. He had so much power over me. My parents’ tumultuous relationship made me a firm believer that I didn’t need any man. My dad used my mom as a punching bag for years. I decided to take Tae Kwando Classes and at 16 when I was good enough I beat him up. My estranged father who had beat up on my mom for as long as I could remember. My mom and I left for the women’s shelter and I never saw Oliver Pope again till I went to visit him on his deathbed. I promised myself I would never give in to any man. I dated in college, had a boyfriend but never let it go too far. Until at 33 I met Fitzgerald Thomas Grant 3.I remember when Cyrus introduced us. Wow he was definitely a looker. About 6’2 with an athletic muscular build and deep gray eyes. Those eyes. It’s like his eyes were his superpower. Like Clinton he could connect with people and empathize. He was a good man. But the thing that got me every time was that voice. I wonder what was it about that voice that made me blush. This was silly I thought. Probably a dumb crush because of the time we spent together. So I backed off and stayed away but the more I distanced myself the more I thought about him. Occasionally locking of eyes and I knew what it was. We were falling for each other. He would stylishly brush his hand against mine, praise me almost ridiculously. He was like a puppy in love. He wasn’t hiding it but I was going to be the grown up and check him or ignore him or so I thought and then that knock in New Hampshire. I should have said no but I couldn’t and when he touched me I was weak. I wanted this so much and we made love and I literally cried because it felt so right emotionally and physically. This was wrong I know but my heart needed my fix. Fitz was my fix. He knew what to do and what to say and I was his. I justified myself by saying this was destiny and he and Mellie were in a loveless marriage. My gut told me it would end badly but the moments we spent together. We made the most of it-the little things, the gestures, his bad jokes and smart Alec attitude. He was definitely my dream guy in my head. But before I knew it I came crashing back to reality. A miscarriage, a break up and the hurt and unresolved feelings came back.

I snapped back to reality as I reached the gates of Camp David. I was so nervous as I entered the room and there he was. My Fitz, well technically he wasn’t anymore. He lit up and smiled. “Livie how are you?” “Fine”, I said and sighed. “Where is Cyrus”, I asked very quickly trying to control the moment. “He had an emergency. I am glad you could come.” With that he flashed a smile and his eyes look directly into mine and I felt like I truly never left his side. He was still my joy, my pain, my medicine, my poison and my love. “Glad to be hear”, I whispered and smiled.



Chapter 5

Clean Slate

I listen to him as he tells me about Amanda Tanner. He seems sincere but I knew Fitz was a man that loved sex and it had been a year. I remembered what Cyrus said. Mellie never left his side. Was he back to being with her? I almost cringe at the thought of him making love with anyone else. “So what do you think?” I was jolted back to reality. “I will handle it Mr. President.” “Livie, really Mr. President?” “Fitz it’s under control.”  “Good how are you? I tried calling you and you never picked up.”  “That’s past we don’t need bring up old ghosts.”  “I am not trying too I just don’t know how you can go through something so intense with someone and just forget them. Eleven months, Livie.”  “I didn’t forget Fitz.”  “It really hurt when you left me.”  “I had to because we were going down a dangerous path of destruction”, I said quietly. “I know I agree but I did love you Livie, I do love you.” With that he took my hands and warmly said, “Thank you for coming and taking on this case.” “It’s nothing”, I replied nervously. “It’s everything”, he said trying to look at me. He hadn’t let go of my hands and I began to feel the heat generate. I had to stop it and kill the chemistry before it went further. “So Cyrus tells me you and Mellie have mend fences.” “Really he said that?” “Yes and its ok she is your wife the mother of your kids and I understand…” and then he interrupted me. “You are the mother of my baby too.” Why did he have to bring up the miscarriage? “Livie the baby would have been born by now. Our baby conceived with passion and love.”  “I should go.”  “No don’t go please I just want to talk to you. I miss you Livie.” “Don’t go,” he said holding my arm so tightly it hurt. I took a deep breath and promised myself I wouldn’t let anything happen. He wanted to talk so we would talk. “So how your mother?”  “She is fine.”  “I went to Florida a few months back to campaign for Senator Roberts and saw her. She is such a lovely woman.”  “Yes she told me. Thank you.” “Seeing her made me happy, it was like seeing something that belongs to you Olivia since I couldn’t see you.” He had the saddest look in his eyes I had ever seen. He started to look into my eyes. Why was he doing this? I shouldn’t let him get to me. “So how are the kids?” “They are good adjusting to life in the White House.” “Livie are you seeing anyone?” “Why?” “Um I was just wondering.” “Are you, Mr. President?” “You know I am not Livie.” “Do you doubt me?” Despite myself I say “Mellie.” “I told you I haven’t been with her in years.” “Livie I haven’t slept literally since you left me. I am taking pills for insomnia.” His suddenly looks bewildered. I proceed to ask him what I wanted to know. “So how do you?” “How do I what?”  I couldn’t say it and as he looked into my eyes. He knew what I was asking.  “You were the last person I promise.” “But I know you Fitz, you are a passionate man.” “Yes I am but the memories of you and I kept me going. Memories of you are seared in my mind.” There is an awkward silence and sexual tension fills the room. And with that deep voice that had been my undoing he whispers, “Let’s make new memories, Livie” Then he kisses me. It felt so good and I felt alive. But I would not let him do this. I pull away and he didn’t chase me but just stared intensely. I knew that look. He was filled with desire and so was I but I would not allow him to draw me back in. Stop looking at me like that,” I say, unable to keep a deep blush from forming and creating a heat that increased the temperature in the room.

“Like what?” Fitz asked innocently, following me as I turned to back him. I just couldn’t look at his beautiful face anymore without losing it.

His hand grips my shoulders gently and he was standing behind me. He leans so close and I feel his desire so close to me. He begins to whisper salaciously in my ears then kisses my collarbone. I was drowning as his lips touched the base of my neck. He turned me to him and his eyes danced with desire. His entire body buzzes with energy, his warm breath against the side of my neck and his words made me dizzy with need.
His lips curve into a decidedly sly smile and I was weak. I need him now more than he needs me. It was going to happen. You are all I have been thinking about Livie I need you. Save me sweet baby save me,” he confesses in a husky whisper and suddenly I feel his pain because I feel the same way. “ Make love to me Fitz, please make love to me I am ready,” I assure him as I stretch my  head forward and my mouth molds to the side of his neck, tasting and inhaling his strong aroma.  
In the end, it doesn’t matter when he slides against my flesh and a slow build of heat and longing so sweet his groan of contentment catches in his throat. In spite of his haste to join us we rock lazily together, unwilling to bring it to a quick and inevitable conclusion. His controlled movements give way as I breathe against his ear and my arms tighten around him. He lifts his head from my shoulder, drunkenly consumed by the need to find my mouth. He finds my lips half parted in a sigh of pleasure and I feel his pace and his pulse quicken. We’ve taken it slow long enough and in complete agreement with him I meet his lips in a bruising kiss, inhaling swiftly as a moan tears free from my throat. 

“Yes -” I gasp as a particularly thorough thrust evokes an immediate fluttering so good it makes my muscles clench from head to toe and everywhere in between from the intensity. “There,” I finish, just in time to do it again as Fitz hits his mark. He was such a good lover and I wasn’t shy to tell him so. It was always like that for us. He takes me to the top of the mountain many times and I give in and waves of passion flow through my body. He was such an attentive lover. I urge him on to reach his peak as well and he does with a deep hungry kiss and with those passionate eyes locked on mine.

I enjoy this moment as much as Fitz does. He’s virtually silent, his head down and his posture completely relaxed and pulls me into his arms. “Thank you,” he utters gratefully just before capturing my lips in a sensuously slow kiss. He ends the kiss but doesn’t move away – we’re still nose to nose, breathing each other in. Between his strong masculine smell and my warm and supple body pressed against him from neck to knee, I can’t imagine anything more erotic. But we had to get back to reality. I reach around him and give him an appreciative tap on the butt before getting up. “Where are you going”, he asks.  “I have to work on your case”, I interject. “But”  “No buts Fitz, time is of the essence”, I say and give him a light kiss and I start dressing. “This was magical Livie. I miss you. When will I see you again?” “I don’t know Fitz. Let’s deal with this issue first.” “You amaze me .How do you switch from the most passionate creature I have been with to the workaholic.”  I smile sweetly and say, “That’s my job.” “You know I love fixing things.” Fully dressed now I head for the door. He reaches out for my hand. “Thank you Livie for fixing me. I love you. Just know that I still do. We can work things out”. I smile and silently leave. What was I getting myself into? I couldn’t resist him.


Clean Slate

Chapter 6

I am determined to get to bottom of Amanda Tanner’s case. Away from the euphoria that is Fitz I get an uneasy feeling. Is this doubt? Fitz would not lie. He proved to me today that I was the only one for him. You can’t fake the love we share. I try and calm myself down.


“Huck I need you to get information on Amanda Tanner. Anything you can get and everything from high school till now.”

“I am on it Olivia.”

Huck Finn is tech savvy guy. He was part of the black ops after school but eventually had a nervous breakdown. It does that to you when you see things that people don’t see every day.

He had asked for $1 to buy food and I always make it a point to look in people’s eyes because I believe everyone has a story to tell and it’s in the eyes. Those eyes looked so wounded so I did something crazy.


“Come with me let’s get you cleaned up and then we can get you something warm to eat.”

His eyes lit up and he told me his horrifying story. My gut told me I could trust him. I took him home and gradually with help from my good friend who is a therapist. He was able to work through his pain and that is how he became Huck the ever reliable one.


Professor Thad Ryder knocked on the door and I wondered what this new case would bring.

“Olivia Pope I need you to fix this. I can’t lose all I’ve worked for.”

“Calm down and tell me about it.”


Prof Thad Ryder was married to Amber Ryder. He was a perfect husband who would give anything to keep his family together. Amber had an obsessive desire to be a mother and this was causing cracks in the marriage. Unknown to his wife Thad is sterile but doesn’t tell her.

Instead he pays Damian Cole to woo his wife, sleep with her and impregnate her. Amber falls for Damian without knowing the two men are in cahoots. It breaks his heart that Amber gives in but he needs to make this perfect. He needs to please his wife. Always the perfectionist he is determined to raise Stephanie as his own daughter.

Then out of the blue Damian comes back into the picture and wants to tell Amber the whole story. He has seen Stephanie and he wants his daughter. Thad’s life is now a mess. He and Amber have found their way back to each other and if Damian tells her he was the mastermind he could lose both Amber and Stephanie.

He could not let that happen. He offers Damian money but Damian doesn’t want the money. My job is to convince Damian Cole that this would not be a good idea. This will be a hard case. People are drawn together by blood. But I feel we can get to him because at the end of the day biology is not the only factor that determines who a parent is.

“We will do our best Professor Ryder.”

“Thank you so much.”

This would be a hard case, but I am determined to help the professor.

After 3 hours of brainstorming with Stephen, Huck comes in.

“Olivia we need to talk.”

“Ok so what’s up with Amanda Tanner?”

“She is a good kid who came to Washington to help women. Nothing fishy at all except considering the fact that she works for the President she was obsessed with Vice President Sally Hemming   becoming President and even launched a Facebook page –Operation Women Take over the White House.”

“How is that? She would have been screened.”


“She also used her alias name Margaret Thatcher to operate it. It’s weird because she has two separate identities. She is known as Maggie T as well as Amanda Tanner.

“How did the White House miss this?”

“Contact her. Tell her we have something important to tell her.”


“Who was this Amanda girl and if what Huck was saying was correct she had a hidden agenda against the president.”

“Just called she will meet you at Jefferson Park in an hour.”


“How are you”, I ask Amanda with a smile.

‘I am good. So what’s this about?”

Amanda was a pretty girl. Blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes but she seemed a bit disturbed and disheveled.

“I understand you enjoy your job at the White House.”

“I do I love serving my country and the president.”

“Well your service is no longer needed. Your obsession with him has to come to an end now. No more delusional fantasies you are finished in Washington.”

“You know?”

“I know you are lying.”

“Ok I admit I didn’t like him I wanted to Vice President to win because I believe women are the ones that would make a difference for tomorrow, but he drew me in.”

“We had a secret spot under the trees .He called me ‘sweet baby’. I know it meant something to him. I am not lying. He said he was unhappy and he said he loved me.”



“Don’t you get it? I am sure I am not the first woman he has done this to neither will I be the last. He reels women in, takes advantage of them then dumps them like garbage. He will pay. I am not going down without a fight.”

With that she walked away.

She left me hyperventilating. That uneasy feeling was my gut. He had an inappropriate encounter with this young lady and had the audacity to send me to fix his mess.


Suddenly I feel dirty. It meant nothing to him. He had just taken advantage of me. What was I thinking? He has been cheating on Mellie so why didn’t I ever consider he would do the same to me. My fairytale was over. The illusion of love between Fitz and I died there and then.

I question whether I should confront him and give in. I have to see him.


Clean Slate

Chapter 7

Fitz point of view


It felt so right being with Olivia. I am hoping she comes back. I need her to realize she is not my mistress. She is the love of my life. My soul mate.  She is even more beautiful than before. I had to see her again. I love this woman.

“Mr. President”, Cyrus says as and snaps me back to reality.


“So will she help us”?

“She believes me”.

“It doesn’t matter what she believe she just needs to handle this issue immediately.”

“There is something I need to tell you Cyrus”.

I had been lying to myself. Yes I did push Amanda away but this girl wanted me. I hadn’t felt this wanted since Olivia. I even felt the American people wouldn’t want me if they knew who I really was inside.

“Larry I need you to go to Ms Tanner’s apartment. Bring her here. She didn’t finish what I asked her to do”, I told my Secret Service Agent.

Yes Mr. President.

“So you called for me.”

“Yes. I need you now.”

“Music to my ears”, she says and we have sex. I feel dirty and ashamed but it feels good and having sex with Amanda numbs my pain. For a brief instance I forget Olivia. After all she left me.

“Will I see you again”, she asked with eager eyes when it’s done.

“No Amanda this never happened. This condom is proof that you and I never happened. Go home.”

“Is that all?”

“Do you like dogs?”


“ I will buy you a dog.”

“Okay’, she says with an awkward pause. “Thank you if you need me again…”

“I won’t”, I say interrupting her.


“Cyrus I slept with Amanda.”

“What why? I thought you were working on your marriage?”

“Cy my marriage is stone cold. We just learned to tolerate each other.”

“We have to tell Olivia.”

“No she doesn’t need to know.”

“Mellie knew about the other women why you didn’t tell her about Amanda?”

“My way of knowing she doesn’t have full control over me.”

“Mr. President you are not a frat boy. You can’t do this. Who else knows she slept with Amanda?”

“Larry my SS guy knows.”

“We have to get rid of him.”

“No Cyrus. Olivia will handle this.”

“You are making my work hard. Is there any other secret you are hiding from me?”

“I need to know now.”

I think to myself to tell him about Olivia and decide not to. She is my precious bit of heaven. I won’t go there.

“No Cyrus that’s all.”


At 10 pm I am still in the Oval Office looking through personal files and she walks in.

“Olivia this is a surprise”, I say smiling.

But she looked sad. I knew there and then she knew what happened.

“How dare you?”

“I can explain.”

I feel my heart sinking. Who told her?

“It happened once and it was nothing, Livie.”

“You bastard. You used me today just like you used that girl.”

“No it was different. I promise. I was very sad and unhappy. I couldn’t sleep.”

“So she helped you sleep. Sweet baby really .How could you? You are a pig. I can’t believe I let you touch me today”, she said crying profusely.

I feel her pain and grab her and try to explain.

“Livie it meant nothing. You left me I was vulnerable that’s all. It wasn’t an affair. She pursued me. I am sorry. I felt empty.”

“No you took advantage of her like you did me. How many others is there Fitz?”

“Answer me how many mistresses have you had.”

“Livie don’t do this.”

“I want to know.”

“Before you they meant nothing. Mellie knew about them. It all starts and ends with you. You are my forever.”

“Please believe me”, I say and pin her against the wall.

“So I wasn’t the first one. My God why Fitz? Let me go. I hate you right now. I hate you.”

By this time we are both weeping. She collapses against me  and we are hugging desperately and weeping.

“Why”, she asks over and over.

I can’t lose her again.

“I am sorry. Look at me Livie. I love you.”

“Come back to me. I am begging you.”

“Can I kiss you”, I ask desperately rambling on holding on to her for dear life.

Before she can say no I pin her to the wall and with our tears mingling together I kiss her as if my life depends on it thinking perhaps the magic of our kiss would silence her doubts. It seems to be working as she kisses me back.

Then the door opens.

“Mr. President.”


“I came to check on you.”

“I was just going”, she says still obviously in pain.

“Olivia wait”, I say.

“No you and Cyrus should talk.”

“She meant nothing”, I cry out as she walks out.

I know I am going to get it from Cyrus.

“Mr. President you went there with my girl.”

“Cyrus I am sorry but we fell in love.”

“I asked you if you were hiding anything. You said no.”

“I couldn’t tell you about her.”

“Why not?”

“Because you have a personal relationship with her.”

I pause.

“Cyrus she is the love of my life.”

“Not Mellie not Amanda. Olivia is my soul mate,” I say trying to hold back fresh tears.

“Why didn’t I see this?”

“This is going to be a problem Mr. President.”


“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

“Olivia would never hurt me she loves me. She left because of Mellie’s tricks.”

“You just put your head on platter for not one but two mistresses.”

“Cyrus, I need you to listen to me. Don’t ever equate Olivia with Amanda or anyone else for that matter. She is no mistress. She is my girl. My life. It ends with her. You hear me don’t ever call her my mistress.”

“I need to see her”,  Cyrus says rolling his eyes and walks out.