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Happy Father’s Day





We have all lost something at one time or another. Be it a job, a friendship, opportunity or even a dream. But the reality is this. Where there is life there is hope. The concept that it’s too late to get back in the ring and pursue your dreams is ABSOLUTELY FALSE. It’s never too late. If you don’t succeed pick yourself up and try again. The opposite of failure is not success. In fact without failing we cannot be successful. Our experiences and failures is what drive us to thrive. Learn from your mistakes and make better decisions.

Thomas Edison had to be talking to himself regarding his many failed attempts at producing an effective light bulb when he said, “Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.” Thomas Edison did not invent the first light bulb, instead he invented the first incandescent light that would last and was more sensible than the light bulb. Success came for Thomas Edison after at least two years and many failed attempts. I like what Edison said when asked by a young reporter, “How many times are you going to fail at creating the light bulb?” He simply replied, “Son, I haven’t failed! I’ve simply discovered another way not to invent the light bulb!”

There is always a way. Never give up. Life is not a competition.Don’t use another person’s path or success in life to determine your worth or journey. When God created each and every one of us, He knew there would never be another one of us. Yes, we are all Designer’s Originals.As individuals, we are all a work of perfection.

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. Ephesians 2:10 (NIV)

“You will eat the fruit of your labor; blessings and prosperity will be yours.” Psalm 128:2 (NIV)


Breathe again!!!

Get up again!!!

Do it again!!!

Try again!!!

Breathe again!!!


Till We Meet Again

Chapter 5

“Fitz, why are you asking me to leave?”

“I just think in South Carolina, there are more opportunities for you.”

“I had this trip planned long before I met you.”

“I know I’m being selfish but please.”

“Who do I know in Mount Pleasant?”

“You’d know me.”

“Ok if I were to go along with your bizarre suggestion where would I stay?”

“We could get an apartment together.”

She laughed and wondered what had gotten into him.

“This is crazy. I am not going.”

“I would have taken you to my home but I have to tell them it’s over with Mellie first.”

“You still live with your Mom and Dad.”

“Well I have been in Boston for the last seven years with school and law school so I was just going to wait till after the wedding to move out.”

“I don’t know Fitz, this seems dubious.”

“Come on. We go to Mount Pleasant, get an apartment, and then I go home.”

“So you don’t want them to know when you are coming.”

“I told you to let me end it on the phone and you wouldn’t let me.”

They are now shouting at each other. This was the first fight they were having. Olivia felt Fitz was being selfish and disrespectful. He wanted her to go with him. Then she would have to lie to her grandmother.

“So you want me to lie to my grandmother.”

“The one person who has always  been there for me.”

“She is all I have Fitz.”

“She raised me ever since my parents died and worked her butt off to make sure I got all I need”, she says practically yelling at him.

“I never said you should lie to her.”

“Just come back with me and damn the consequences just like you want me to do.”

“I don’t understand. I am taking big steps here.”

“I am calling off my wedding. My family will most definitely be livid and we will be the talk of town.”

“Most likely it will not be in a good way.”

“I don’t know what will happen, but I am ready to risk everything for you, everything and everyone I have ever known.”

“What sacrifices are you making Olivia?”

“It will be hard. All I am asking for is your support.”

“I just feel together, we can weather the storm.”

“And by the way I thought we were in this together.”

“I am in no way asking you to compare me with your grandmother but really she is all you have.”

“So what are we doing Olivia? Playing house I suppose.”

“I didn’t mean it that way Fitz. I just don’t want to be dependent on you.”

“You have done everything for me. It’s too much.”

“I am an only child. My parents died when I was five. My grandmother was always working and I was busy with piano and language classes.”

“That’s me. I am independent. Going back with you is just too big a sacrifice.”

“Wow all this time I thought we had an ‘us’ mentality. It’s your call”

“I’m going to pack,” he says looking disgusted. He had never looked at her like that. Surely he was mad now.

“What about Mellie?”

“Come on Olivia, cut it with the self righteous crap.”

“You don’t care about Mellie.”

“Your family won’t accept this will they, Fitz?”

“I don’t know but I am willing to fight for us but I need you to fight with me here or there.”

“Your call”, he says walking away looking defeated.

She had never seen him this angry. Maybe he had a point. He had become the love of her life and he was more important than her ego or any job in Paris. Besides she would surely get a high paying job in the States. But she would tell her grandmother. She wouldn’t lie to her. She would give him an hour to cool off then tell him.

“What are you doing”, she asked entering his room


“Do you need help?”


“Fitz, are you going to ignore me now.”

“I made copies of our home videos. You can have the original. I mean this was probably just a documentary for you so keep them and when and if you remember me you can look at them.”

Fitz loved taking home videos of all their trips from hanging out with Damian and Josyln, going to mall and her trips to the salon. Every where they went he would take pictures and videos.

“So this is a documentary?”

“Well to you Olivia it seems so.”

“I don’t want to fight Fitz.”

“I don’t want us to fight either. I leave in three days.”

“I’m sorry Olivia just going to miss you. Maybe you’re right I am asking too much.”

“Can I help you pack?”

“After you give me a hug.”

“Come on truce.”


They hugged for what seemed like an eternity but it was just a minute. He gripped and held on to her as if his life depended on it. She felt his fears and knew she couldn’t let him go back alone.

Breaking away she says, “don’t worry I’m coming with you”.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I want to.”

“And what about your Grandmother?”

“I will tell her. But I am going to South Carolina first”

“Atlanta can wait.”

He could hardly contain himself. He felt as if he had just been giving a new lease on life. He picked her up and spun her around till she was dizzy. They didn’t do much packing that night. They just talked. They agreed to have two children and adopt two more. He told her his plans to not just be Mayor, but Governor and God willing President one day. It didn’t matter that he swung more to the right and she was an Independent. It would work. They were going to do great things and help people. He would still run for Mayor as a single man and she would be his PR person before heading to Harvard Law school and when she was done they would get married.

They had just touched down at Charleston airport, which was a mere fifteen minutes from his parents’ mansion but Olivia and Fitz weren’t going there. They were going to spend a few days at Charleston Place, a five star hotel that would help her appreciate how beautiful Charleston was. He knew she would love it here. This would be their home.  Within a week he hoped to get an apartment then he would go home and break the news. He knew he had to do it. The time had come but right now he wanted Olivia to feel right at home.

“Smile”, he says taking her picture.

You won’t stop will you?”

“I can take pictures of you all day baby.”

“So this is my home, the beautiful city of Charleston.”

“You seem proud.”

“The best Southern gentlemen hail from South Carolina.”

I am Georgia peach, so I have to go with my Georgia boys.”

“I thought you said I was a nice guy.”

“Have I ever been mean to you Angel?”

“Um yes, you practically bullied me into coming here,” she teases.

“Guess in this case bullying is good.”

They share a laugh and are oblivious to anyone at the airport. They share their first kiss in the States here in Fitz’s home town. They had no idea that kiss would spark a chain of events that would define their destinies.

She swore she saw Fitz. Dr. Sarah Grant was taken a break to help plan her twin brother Fitz’s wedding. Mellie complained that Fitz was nonchalant and hardly asked about anything. She had told Mellie he was just trying to enjoy his last days as a bachelor. She told Mellie Fitz loved her.

But here he was kissing a girl at the airport and she knew it wasn’t Mellie. This girl was smaller and most definitely African American. What was he doing? He was getting married in four weeks and here he was kissing this woman in broad day light.

“Fitz, what are you doing?”

Her firm voice caused the two lovers to jump.

“Fitz who is she?”

This must be a small town, Olivia thought. This didn’t look like the Mellie he described.  He had described Mellie as a very tall brunette but this lady was maybe 5’7, a few inches shorter than what she envisioned Mellie to be. She had strawberry blonde hair and the same grey eyes as Fitz. This was Sarah, she realized suddenly.

“Sarah, this is Olivia.”

“Olivia this is my twin sister Dr. Sarah Grant.”

“Hi Olivia, can I borrow my brother for a second?”


“What are you doing Fitzy?”

“I never pegged you for a cheater.”

“You are getting married next month.”

“Who is that girl and how old; she looks so young.”

“She is old enough.”

“How old is she?”


“Thank goodness but what has gotten into you?”

“She’s the one Sarah I know it.”

“I met the love of my life in Paris.”

“Come back to earth Fitzy, what about your fiancée Mellie?”

“I’m breaking it off.”

“Dad will kill you.”

“I need time; a week.”

“I will be at Charleston Place. You cannot tell anyone you saw me.”

“Fitz she could be a gold digger.”

“She isn’t. She loves me for me.”

“Just give her a chance, she is a bit shy.”

“Mellie is my best friend Fitzy.”

“I’m her chief bridesmaid.”

“Not anymore because there won’t be a wedding.”

“I’m your brother and if you want me happy, you will keep this secret when you go home.”

“Ok, but one week Fitz, one week.”


“Um Olivia I guess I will be seeing you around. The driver will be here any minute. You two should go.”

“Sarah I don’t get a hug.”

“Of course you do, Fitzy.”

“I love you”, Sarah says as they break their embrace

They seemed close. Olivia was sad she had met Sarah like this but it was inevitable. She hoped she could win them all over eventually. Her innocent and naïve mind had no idea what she and Fitz were about to encounter. They would soon see what length the Grant and Meyer families would go, to hold on to their good name and achieve what they wanted. Poor Fitz and Olivia were in a bubble that would soon burst.

Till We Meet Again

Chapter 4

They became inseparable for the next four weeks. They played tennis with Damian and Josyln twice every week and even visited London for a weekend. They were very happy. They had a plan. Fitz would end it with Mellie once he got home and they would be together forever. He had wanted to do it over the phone but Olivia told him that would be cold. She worried about the friendship between the Grant and Meyer Families. Would the Grants welcome her or blame her for the breakup? This was her head thinking but at this moment she was happy.

They made love every chance they got and Olivia resigned herself to wait till Fitz left before looking for a job. She still had her savings because Fitz wouldn’t let her spend anything. This was awkward for her because she knew this wasn’t her but she was tired of fighting him. They had a close call two weeks ago when Olivia thought her period was late. She never worried about her irregular periods but now that she had become intimate with Fitz she thought she was pregnant.

“Fitz I am so scared.”

“You will be a hot Momma.”

“This is serious. I don’t want a baby now.”

“Well you are worried for nothing. “

“First, even if you are it’s okay. Secondly, let’s buy a pregnancy test to be sure.”

“Okay but I am not sleeping with you again without protection.”

“I know what Mellie was using …maybe we can  get that… I am sorry. That was awkward right?”

“You think?”

“Now I have to worry about being pregnant and a guilty conscience on top of that.”

“Angel, we have a deal right?”

“I am telling her once I get home.”

“If you want me to I can tell her today over the phone. If that will make you feel better I will call and end it.

“That would be rude. She’s your oldest friend.”

“I would rather just stay here and spend the whole year with you.”

“How do you do that Fitz?”


“Divert attention when the pressure is on.”

“Okay Mommy, let’s go that pregnancy test.”

“We are vain in my family. If it’s a boy I will call him Little Fitz ‘The Fourth’.

He actually wasn’t worried at all. It surprised her how he had already envisioned their maybe son would be Fitzgerald Thomas Grant IV. He did love her. How did she get this lucky she thought? It was a close call but Olivia was relieved it was negative. The next morning she went to get the birth control pills recommended by Fitz. It was still all new to her but she definitely would take it religiously. She wasn’t ready to be a mother yet.

Fitz was taking her to the Eiffel Tower for her birthday. He had a surprise for her. He knew he was still engaged to Mellie but not in his heart. He would give Olivia a commitment ring. He had seen a beautiful emerald ring in the jewelry store and he knew this was what he wanted to give Olivia. He worried about his family. They loved Mellie but for the first time in his life Fitz was ready to make his own decisions. And the first one would be ending it with Mellie and spending forever with Olivia. He was sure Sarah would love her. She was his twin. He could coax Mother as well he thought. The old man would have to understand. He could not keep him from Olivia. She had become his partner, best friend, soul mate and lover. No one was going to break this bond. Mellie would have to understand. She was beautiful and young and he knew she would have no problem rebounding. Besides she deserved a man that would love her the way he loved Olivia.


“Wow, you look beautiful”, he said.

She had on a Jenny Packham silver sparkly sequined dolman-sleeve mini dress coupled with a glittering belt, mock neck and open back. She paired that with a pair of black Louis Vuitton leather pumps.


“Thanks you are pretty hot stuff yourself.”

“Can I get a kiss before we go?”

“Fitz, baby we are late.”

He loved it when she called him baby. He took that as a sign that she would let him have his way.

“Please just a kiss Angel.”

“We both know what happens when you ask for one kiss.”

“I promise just one.”

He would keep that promise. Today was her birthday and even though she looked stunning they were running late and he wouldn’t ruin her day. Today he would give her this beautiful emerald commitment ring. He stared at her as he usually did lowering his gaze towards her beautiful face and then he kissed her. He meant it when he said one kiss and he would make sure he did it well. It started slow then grew more passionately and Olivia was kissing back as his hands caressed her open back. They didn’t want this moment to end. Fitz loving nuzzled her nose with his and smiled. Her eyes were closed and he thought there was something very exquisite about her. Her bone structure was a masterpiece. He felt as if God took the time to create her. He wanted more and all of her at this very moment but they had reservations at the Le 58 tour Eiffel and were running late. He would do the right thing.

“Happy Birthday Angel, let’s go.”


They had a great time at the Eiffel Tower. The dinner was lovely and now they were just having fun. But Olivia noticed he looked sober.

“Fitz what’s wrong?”

He sighed deeply and wondered if he could convey his thoughts to her without showing too much emotion is his voice.

“Angel I love you.”

“I know and I love you more.”

He smiled at her statement and at how innocent she looked.

“I am falling deeper and deeper everyday for you…”

“This happens once in a lifetime…what we have…”

“I don’t want it to end. I don’t want this to end. We can be happy here you know.”

“I don’t understand Fitz.”

“Let’s stay here. I have this eerie feeling. I am not ready to go back to the States.”

“Where is this coming from?”

“Let’s do something crazy,” he says anxiously.

“Do what Fitz?”

“Let’s just do it here.”

“Marry me…”

“I got this for you”, he said fidgeting and reaching for the box where the emerald ring was.

It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

“You are still engaged Fitz.”

“Stop saying that,” he snapped surprising them both.

“I am making the ultimate commitment to you.”

“Let’s get married here in Paris.”

“I won’t let you do that. Your family would never forgive me Fitz.”

“And I can’t take this ring even though it’s beautiful”, she says with confused tears in her eyes.

“Baby I bought it for you. It’s a sign.”

“I did my homework before getting this. He was stammering nervously but trying to make sense. She would take this ring. His life depended on it.

“Olivia, emeralds are green. Green is the color of life; of spring time…it means new beginnings.”

“It promises good luck. It has always been known as the color of beauty and of constant love. It enhances our well being.”

“My love, this is a symbol of how I feel for you and what you do for me”, he says close to tears.

She hated seeing him like this.

“It’s okay Fitz I want it.”

“You make me feel like I am the only girl in the world. Thank you.”

“But I can’t marry you until we have your parents’ and my grandmother’s blessings.”

It was a compromise that he accepted.

“Happy Birthday Angel.”


That night they made love and it was very different. He was very passionate but everything was calm and serene. He wasn’t his usual jovial self. He realized that he would have to go back in one week. He was missing her already. He wanted to be happy but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something bad was waiting for them back home. If he couldn’t marry her here, he would have to convince her to go back with him. He needed her by his side.

A Moment to Pause in Nigeria

As news of the deadly Dana plane reached me this past Sunday all I could think was “Dear Lord not again.” I remember vividly three plane crashes between 2005 and 2006.It was a terrible time. But this seemed worse for some reason. Five years later we are going through this again. This could have been avoided.

When I hear stories of each individual, babies, children, mothers, fathers and the elderly I couldn’t help but cry and wonder what lesson is there in this. This should and could have been avoided. Their lives are gone and they will never come back. My hope is their death will not be in vain. Paying a compensation of $30,000 for each victim will not make it alright. I hate using the word ‘victim’ but that’s what they are being called now. 103 bodies were said to have been burnt beyond recognition and just 52 bodies had been identified as of Wednesday .An autopsy needs to be done to verify their identity solely in my opinion because of the Dana Airline’s insurer, Lloyds Underwriters of London, United Kingdom has to cough out the money. These VICTIMS had names. They had destinies and bright futures.

We as Nigerians at home and abroad need to do something to make a difference.From the President to the youngest among us.We can not give up HOPE. Little drops of water make a mighty ocean. One spark can light a mighty fire. We can start a grassroots movement and change the direction of Nigeria. I just sit and think of how recently we protested the change of the name of University of Lagos to MKO University. As an alumnus of the University of Lagos, I feel somewhat disappointed that this bothered me in the aftermath of this crash. It puts things in perspective of what is really important.

I wish more people; me included would stand up and make a difference for future generations. Remember Nigeria is borrowed from generations yet unborn. We can’t leave a mess for them to clean up. This CAN NOT and SHOULD NOT ever happen again.


God bless Nigeria and heal her wounded soul. May the souls of all lost on the Dana flight; and the ones on ground rest in everlasting peace in the bosom of our Savior.



Chapter Three

“So this is Ogilvy and Mathers?”


“You’re nervous.”

“A little, wish me luck.”

“Angel you don’t need luck. It will be their loss.”

“Why are you calling me that?”

“I like your middle name Angelina, isn’t it fitting for an angel like you?”

He wouldn’t listen. He loved to tease her. But this shouldn’t be her concern right now. She told herself she would stop being lazy and meet the contact person her professor told her to meet but it had been two weeks. She and Fitz had become good friends. They watched American soap operas in French and went for walks everyday for the last two weeks. They even made friends with a young couple they met at the park. Damian and Josyln. When they told their new friends they weren’t a couple, but only friends they seemed genuinely surprised. The chemistry between Fitz and Olivia was very obvious but Fitz wouldn’t ruin the relationship. He decided the friendship they had was too important to ruin. And there was Mellie he recalled with regret that surprised and scared him at the same time. He said to himself “I will be gone soon and I will forget her”, but he knew he may have met his waterloo of love. It took all his resolve to resist kissing her and she had been in his cottage house in the most romantic place in the world and he hadn’t made a single move. He decided maybe he was afraid of rejection. Whatever it was, controlling his feelings was becoming a herculean task.

“There you go flirting again.”

“Ok.Good luck Olivia. I am here waiting.”

“What if it takes a long time?”

“I have the whole day Angel.”

She couldn’t believe how sweet he was. He didn’t even know her and his hospitality was unbelievable. With an exception of innocent flirting he hadn’t made a pass at her. She had wanted to kiss him to show her gratitude but she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to go there. What would he think of her? But she had to admit he was consuming her every thought;even now at a critical point when she should relax her brain and hope to God she gets this job.

Before she could jump in the car he started bombarding her with questions. But she stopped him.

“Let’s get home first.”

“Home, I like how that sounds”, he says grinning but she was too upset  to return the smile and he knew she probably had bad news.

“So how did it go?”

“I didn’t get the job.”

“Did they see that you graduated with summa cum laude?”

“I came a week late. I am so screwed.”

Fitz felt responsible because he had selfishly delayed her day after day.

“Wow I am so sorry. We can look for another one.”

“No Fitz you don’t understand. I want to be a fixer.”

“I want to get a fill of it on an international level.”

“Professor Landry will be so disappointed in me.”

“Work with me.”


“I am running for Mayor soon. You can be my PR person.”

“Let’s do a mock campaign. The two of us.”

“You are crazy Fitz. You will be gone in six weeks.”

“Then come back with me and run my campaign. I will launch my campaign after the wedding.”

The words came out before he could stop them. He was so excited about making her feel better that he inadvertently told her about Mellie.

“You are getting married?”

She had no right to be angry n or sad and he shouldn’t feel bad. But yes Olivia was angry and Fitz felt the need to apologize. It was there and then it hit them. They were kindred spirits; even more they were soul mates.

“I can explain.”

“You don’t need to. I am happy for you.”

“You are a good man. I understand”, she said unconvincingly.

“It’s just that I have known Mellie all my life. Her Dad and my dad are best friends and business partners.”

“It’s okay.”

“No I want to explain. I should have said something.”

“Why are you here alone?”

“Where is your fiancée?”

“Planning our wedding.”

“Are you nervous?”

“Somewhat, we have dated since I was 13 and she was 12. It’s just the right thing to do at least that’s what I thought until…”

“I am sure she is pretty.”

“She is but so are you.”

“Okay Fitz no more flirting, you are getting married in ten weeks. Tell me about her.”

“Really ?”

“I want to know.”

“She is beautiful and tall. I like that about her. Not that you are short.”

“I am 5’ 4 and I am okay with that. Go on”

“Something is missing between her and me.”

“You dated her half of your life. What could be missing?”

“Love, true love.”

“But you have been together for so long. Most marriages don’t last that long.”

“I know but the only problem is I just found what has been missing.”

“It’s you Olivia. It took me crossing the Atlantic Ocean to find you.”

“No we entered the plane at Atlanta.”

“That’s the point I wasn’t supposed to be on that plane.”

“My plane got delayed and I end up getting on your plane sitting next you.”

“What are you saying Fitz?”

“I think you are that missing piece Angel.”

“I’m not good with words but it’s like it is so hard to fight what I’m feeling.”

“I can’t breathe when I am around you. I am not trying to push you.”

“But maybe just maybe there is a shot in the dark that you are the one.”

“Maybe it’s meant to be.”


“I know you feel it Angel. I know.”

“This is too much Fitz.”

“I don’t want to mess this up but I think I love you Olivia. The kind of love that makes it so hard to breathe. I felt it that night on the plane. I’ve been caught up in that moment ever since. You Angel are my reality. You are real and you make me feel alive.”

“It’s hard for me too, but you are engaged.”

“Yes I am and a man can be unengaged can’t he?”

He was moving closer to her and he was so close and he knew this feeling. There was sexual tension between them. He would kiss her. He was done holding back.

“Let me kiss you. Just one kiss on your lips.”

She stood there paralyzed as he kissed her. He had said one kiss, but one kiss turned into a burning fire and they went deeper and deeper almost to the point of no return. Her heart wanted her to continue but her head said he was spoken for. It took all her willpower to push him away.

“No stop. I am leaving first thing in the morning.”

And with that she went into the bedroom he had so gracefully given her.

The spark had been lit up and those kisses had sealed the deal. She was head over heels in love with Fitz and he was in her heart. Being with him was so easy just like breathing. She felt she was in over her head. She had boyfriends but she had never falling like this. As long as he didn’t ask to come in she would be fine. It was just one night and she would be gone or so she thought.

She stood for like eternity and then there was a knock on the door.

“I am sorry Olivia. Please don’t go. I shouldn’t have. I don’t want you to feel violated. I just lost control. Please stay.”

He looked so sad.

“What are we going to do Fitz?”

“I don’t know.”

“What about Mellie, I don’t know what I would do if I were in her shoes.”

“This is not an excuse but she is the strongest person I know. She will be fine.”

“The kiss.”


“You asked for one kiss and you gave me more.”

She wanted him but couldn’t say it. And he knew it. He would forget Mellie and enjoy this moment with the woman he had grown to love in just sixteen days.

“I want to give you more if you let me.”

“I am done fighting Fitz I need you…”

“It’s okay. I need you more Sweet Baby.”

He kissed her again and it was beautiful. Her lips were so soft and he deepened the kiss before she could protest. He wanted to her to really need this.

“Angel”, he whispered taking in her scent that was intoxicating him to the point of no return.. There was no going back now.

“Fitz …” she started.

But before she had a chance to finish her sentence, he kissed her again and took control of her completely. She would be 21 next month and had never taken alcohol, but surely she was drunk now with Fitz. He was making her drunk and hungry for more of him. She couldn’t get enough of him.

This was the first time Fitz had really made love to anyone. It had been sex with Mellie and she made it clear that’s what it was. But it was different here and now. When she told him it was her first time he wasn’t frightened. He knew he would take care of her and she would be alright. He felt like he knew her and knew what to do. When she writhed in pleasure beneath me he was sure this was the woman he was meant to be with. She was the definition of perfection. They knew exactly how to pleasure each other without ever experiencing or experimenting. It was meant to be like this. Pure bliss.

She had never felt this before. Waves of passion flowed through her body and despite herself she cried out as her orgasm caught up with her. That was enough to push him over the edge. He climaxed with a half parted kiss covering her lips and his grey eyes passionately fixed on her brown eyes.

For what seems like an eternity they lay contently in each other arms.

““Let’s get you cleaned up.”

No I am fine.”

“Baby don’t be shy…Ok stay here I will be back.”

She was a bit shy but he was just right. The foundation of their relationship was built on him wanting to take care of her. She knew she would be safe with him. He came back with warm wash cloths and pressed one against her sex and cleaned her up and then took another one to ensure the warmth relieved any pain she may have felt.

“You’ll be fine”, he says staring at her lovingly.

“Wow you are a babying me Fitz.”

“You are my baby and you are stuck with me.”

Life Lessons of the (3) One Minute Scenes on the Hit Show Scandal

The hit TV show Scandal is fascinating on so many levels. The characters are multifaceted, flawed and real. But they are so beautifully written. They are not cartoon characters who are always either perfectly good or completely evil. They are everyday people like you and me. The most important thing I took away from the show is the One Minute Scene in Episode 4 titled “Enemy of the State” and the two One Minute Scenes in Episode 6 titled “The Trail”.

Scandal goes at Scandal Pace which in Shondaland means fast. I do not take breaks when watching. I don’t want to miss a thing. But even in the midst of Scandal Pace; the couple, Olivia Pope and President Fitz Grant, that we have all grown to love and root for, have two scenes that are literally one minute apart. It is important to note that Olivia Pope herself has her own one minute scene in her office when she reaches her breaking point during ‘Amandagate.’

Here are some life lessons I learned from the (3) One Minute Scenes:

  1. In silence sometimes lie the most authentic answers we may be looking for.
  2. Meditation or just taking a minute to breathe connects us to our spirits, souls and bodies.
  3. Like Scandal Pace we go through our busy day hardly taking a break. One Minute teaches us to stop and pause.
  4. There is a beauty in seeing two people who love each other touch and connect. Be it a soul mate like Olivia and Fitz, mother &child, siblings or friends. The human nature is inherently good and to see people who love each connects is what everyone of us wants to possess or strive to live vicariously through whether we admit it or not.
  5. When we pause for one minute we are able to reevaluate what our obstacles are and face them for what they are. Pausing momentarily goes a long way in alleviating denial.
  6. When we take one minute we are able to see things that may have been cloudy, clearer and maker better and wiser decisions.
  7. It’s okay to take a moment of silence when we lose something important to us. It’s okay to be sad and grieve together over the loss of a child, a business or a relationship.
  8. Taking one minute connects us with God who gives us Divine wisdom in all issues of life.
  9. When we take one minute to pause we are healthier and our level of stress is reduced.
  10. The final lesson I learned from Scandal’s One Minute scenes is in silence we can count our blessings and just be thankful and grateful. It really puts things in perspective.

#OneMinute #Scandal #OliviaPope #FitzgeraldGrant #ShondaRhimes

A 22-year-old Yale graduate, Marina Keegan, who wrote her life’s lessons in a final column for the Yale Daily News, died on Saturday May 26,2012 days after graduating. But the words of her essay,”The Opposite of Loneliness” will live on.I have been reading it and am in  awe at how it is most definitely beyond her years. According to Yale Daily News, she was “a prolific writer,actress and activist” who graduated magna cum laude from the University of Yale with a concentration in writing. She had just landed a job at The New Yorker as an editorial assistant and was moving to Brooklyn to start this new journey.She was also the  President of the Yale College Democrats and a  member of Occupy Yale.

It is still so surreal how this young girl had such a wise soul.There are so many nuggets of wisdom in her essay “The Opposite of Loneliness”,but I can’t duplicate this masterpiece but these are the words that touched me:

“We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I could say that’s what I want in life.”

“But let us get one thing straight: the best years of our lives are not behind us. They’re part of us.”

“We can’t, we MUST not lose this sense of possibility because in the end, it’s all we have.”

“The notion that it’s too late to do anything is comical. It’s hilarious.”

“We don’t have a word for the opposite of loneliness, but if we did, I’d say that’s how I feel at Yale. How I feel right now. Here. With all of you. In love, impressed, humbled, scared. And we don’t have to lose that.”

Below is the original article.

Clean Slate

Chapter 1

My name is Fitz Grant. I have been through a lot in just a few months. I am the President of the United States and I had no idea how hard and dangerous it could be. One moment I am on the high, the most powerful man in the world and then in a blink of an eye my Presidency is about to come crashing down through blackmail and a strange twist of fate. I would die for her. Olivia Pope. She is the epitome of perfection. I love her so much it’s hard to breathe when I am around her. She is my soul mate the love of my life, but she is neither my wife nor the mother of my children. We are just connected in a way that I believe the guy upstairs ordained our meeting. I have always been the good guy because my ultimate goal was to help others and the ultimate way would be to become the President. My wife Mellie who I met at Harvard Law School was the perfect wife. She was beautiful smart and had all the connections. So I chose her because this was my end game. I needed a formidable First Lady. Back then, I had no time to be like young men my age. I was always alone in my world. Had all the money and a good family name but I craved love but it never happened. I never let it. My mother died when I was born so I was raised by nannies and I think my dad never forgave me because he kept pushing me to be perfect. He never told me he loved me and that’s all I ever wanted from him. I wanted it badly and cried of emptiness sometimes. When I became governor finally he told me he loved me but it was too late I was already damaged. My goal of being the President consumed me and dare I say kept me sane. It’s funny I was at the door of achieving that goal and she came into my life. My Livie, my chance at being normal even if it was in a fantasy world. She saved me from my demons. Right now I have so many questions running through my mind. It amazes me how this beautiful woman of color captured my heart. About 5 feet 7 inches with the most beautiful eyes I have ever looked into she reminded me of a cool nerd but I kept thinking of her. So crazy how I wanted to be next to her, touch her, see her smile. I admired her because while she was strong she had a big heart. I saw myself in her. Mellie is gorgeous but I never loved her. Sometimes I feel guilty for using her as the perfect good wife but in ways she used me too. She was in love with some else. The brilliant Turkish international student at Harvard and her father forbade her from seeing him and when she got pregnant I offered to marry her and raise Gerry as my own. I gave him my name Fitzgerald Thomas Grant 4. Don’t get me wrong I love the boy but she owes me as much as I owe her and then there is Karen my princess, my little girl whom I named after the mother I never got to meet. Before Olivia she was the reason I had stayed so long in the marriage but now I was President because of Olivia and I found her because I decided to be President. She was the PR person of my campaign and we fell in love. We didn’t plan it. It just happened. I tried to ignore those feelings but I noticed her blush anytime I looked at her and it hit me. She was feeling the same way. I struggled with going after her. Would she respect me or think of me as a dirty man? I had to try. At 45 I was in love for the first time. I knew it was love because after spending time together on the campaign trail she was always on my mind. She was my drug my fix. I had to see her beautiful face. I would never forgive myself if I didn’t try.

I still remember knocking on her hotel door in New Hampshire.
“Is everything okay Governor”, she asked. “No”, I replied. “Why are you here it’s two in the morning?”  “I know this sounds crazy but I can’t stop thinking about you. You are so smart and funny and sweet and you take care of me”, I said searching her face for answers. She sighed and asked ‘Why is this happening’? “I need you Olivia”.  “Did I lead you on, I am sorry” “No I love you” I said interrupting her. “You make me happy I can’t imagine you not being in my life”  “This is wrong you are married with 2 kids who smile at me” “I know, I know I have struggled but I love you, I need you in my life” “Mellie?” “I don’t love her.” “Sometimes marriage is not just about love and passion. It is about mutual needs; it’s a partnership. I know you must think I loved her at one time, maybe I don’t know, but we are barely coexisting now. It’s a façade, it’s for show.” Then I kissed her. Her lips were so soft and I deepened the kiss before she could protest. I needed to control this. I needed her to want this. I knew her head was telling her it was wrong but I didn’t care. If we are guilty of anything it’s of being in love but unavailable. I knew her heart was feeling just what I was feeling. So I pulled away. “Look at me. Tell me you don’t feel what I am feeling and I promise you we will pretend this never happened.” “Fitz, I am so scared I should protect you from things like this.”  “You have saved me and protected me more than you know.” She couldn’t speak again and I knew her silence meant consent.

“Livie”, I whispered taking in her aroma. There was no going back now.

“I just wanted to say….” she started. But before she had a chance to finish her sentence, I kissed her again carried her to the bed and ravaged her entire body with my mouth and hands while she writhed in pleasure beneath me.


After a round of intensely passionate lovemaking, she lay awake and completely sated in my arms. All I could think about was how wonderfully perfect the last two hours had been. “Just thinking how wonderful this has been”, I said smiling and kissed her lightly on the lips.

“It has been pretty damn amazing hasn’t it? But
I’m scared I’m going to wake up any moment and find you gone, and realize this whole thing was nothing but a dream”.

“Trust me Livie, its real. You and me, it’s real”, I replied, kissing her again before wrapping her securely in my arms. Now get some sleep because we have a busy day tomorrow”.


Chapter 2

Clean Slate

After that night we were rarely apart. I wanted to be with her every waking moment but ever the strategist she disagreed with me. She said I wore my heart on my sleeve. Nonetheless we made time to be together. “People will know”, she said. I didn’t care about that but I respected her enough to be more discreet. Cyrus Beene, who had been my right hand man in California actually brought Olivia in and loved her so much. It was the best of both worlds for me. My two best friends were best friends as well. I told Cyrus everything. I just could not tell him about Olivia. She was too special. I promised myself I would guard that secret. I saw my polls rise with all the strategies and advise her expertise gave to the campaign. Everyone loved Olivia even Mellie. But I felt Mellie was a bit obsessed with Olivia. Every moment she got she would gush about her to me. I pretended that I wasn’t paying attention. I guess my guilty conscience was getting the best of me. Not because of Mellie but because of Gerry and Karen. I love those kids and to them our marriage was perfect. I began to imagine the what ifs. If I lost the election I would not run for Governor of California again. Would I leave Mellie? How would the kids feel? Would I go back to Santa Barbara while my Livie remained in D.C. where she’s from? Well I had no time to think of it then. We were always busy with speech writing, meeting donors and then I met him. Samuel Hunter, the wealthy donor who promised to give $10 million to my campaign. I noticed him and Olivia seemed a bit too friendly. Anger welled up. Was he a lover? That night in anger I literally banged on her door.”Open up Olivia” “We weren’t supposed to meet till tomorrow baby.” I ignored her. “Who is Samuel Hunter to you?” She laughed. “Fitz he’s an old friend.” “I don’t like the way he was looking at you.” “Neither did I Fitz but he is a big donor so I had to put up with it”  “Like a little whore right? Have you slept with him before,” I asked angrily. “Really Fitz you a married man have the gall to ask me such a stupid question. Get out I won’t speak to you when you get like this”. I sighed and began to apologize. “I am sorry I just don’t want to lose you. I can’t bear to. You are mine.” “Fitz, Sam and I are good friends. He was once interested but I wasn’t. He is married and no we never had an affair. I guess being inappropriate with you makes me a whore right”, she said with hurt in her eyes. I apologized once again. “Please just for one minute look at me.”  “No.”  “Please.” “Okay”, she says uneasily. “One minute.” I take her in and my heart swells even more and even though she is ten years my junior I imagine how my life would have turned out if I had met her at Harvard instead of Mellie. I imagine her as my wife, the mother of my children and for the first time my head reconciles with my heart that this isn’t fair to her. Am I being a selfish bastard? Yes the sex is good but it’s more than that. I should ask her if she feels dirty about this affair. I start to but my heart and legs walk towards her and I am lost once again in her eyes. I kiss her as if my life depends on it. At this point she is crying but she gives in and I carry her to bed and we make love as if this will be our last day together. I am always aware that anything can happen and this will end. I block out those rational thoughts and try my best to please her in every way I can. I derive my joy in giving her what she needs. Her moaning and cries of my name assure me she wants to be here. When I feel her climax I let go to. It’s beautiful music. So emotional. “You should go back”, she says. “I know. But I want to stay here.” “Mellie comes tomorrow Fitz. She will know.” “I don’t want you to feel I am here for this.” “It’s complicated but I love you Fitz. It’s my cross and I carry it because I know you get me. I am weird you know but you get me.”  “Livie you are the only sane person in this relationship. Sweet baby, you saved me.”

She laughs and kisses me. “Fitz I want to hear you call me sweet baby and mean it”, she says. “Your wish is my command.” I literally wanted her to feel and know she is that to me. We make love again and all I can remember is whispering sweet baby over and over again and sleeping off and waking up by 6: 30 am.

I rush out and to my surprise Mellie is there. “When did you get here?” “I got here last night. I wanted to surprise you but I guess you made other plans. “Um I was with Cyrus.” “No you weren’t, so who is she this time?  I could not say a thing. “Fitz you are running for President and I am your wife. You have always told me when you need someone and I make that arrangement why are you hiding it now.” I was a man that had needs but ever since Karen was born 10 years ago and the news of  Mellie’s  former college  lover’s suicide got to us, I could  count on my fingers how many times I have been intimate with my wife. She always brought escorts for me. They were always sworn to secrecy. “So who is she Fitz? I would never tell her but her silence told me she knew. “Do you love her?” “It’s real this time Mellie.” “So did you make love tonight?  “We don’t have to talk about this.”  “I know its Olivia”, she says matter of factly. “How did you know,” I ask.  “I see her look at you, I see you. I know that look because you never look at me like you look at her.” For a brief moment I felt Mellie was sad.  “So is she really that good? Or is it because she is different you are drawn to her.” “What?”  “I wonder how your racist dad would feel about you having a black mistress.” “Mellie”, I say becoming irritated.  “This is the twenty first century I don’t know what you are insinuating but she is decent and lovely. We are done with this conversation.” “Ok. Guess we pose for ice cream pictures today right. At least you slept like a baby.”


Clean Slate

Chapter 3

My affair with Olivia lasted for twenty three months. I still remember when she resigned. I had spent five months in office and she was done. It got harder to be discreet. She said she felt we were being watched but I doubted that. In hindsight I should have listened to her gut. I never told Olivia Mellie knew about our affair. I underestimated Mellie and if I knew what I know now the outcome would be different. This would not have happened. For some reason Mellie decides to attack at a dinner I held for my advisors and cabinet members in a subtle way. “So I love your perfume Olivia and I peeked in your bag and I saw your birth control pills. I didn’t know you were seeing someone.”  Cyrus joking says, “So who’s the lucky guy?” This wasn’t right. I had to talk. “Why are we discussing Livie’s love life? I am not a woman but birth control is used for other reasons too right.” Nervously she says, “Yes Mr. President.” “Olivia, don’t be so formal. When you and Fitz are working overnight to achieve a goal you call him Fitz. You know you are his work wife right?” Mellie says laughing. That pushed Olivia over the wall. It was too much to take coupled with what happened a month prior to that. We hadn’t been careful and Olivia got pregnant. I asked her to resign and she was ready to that and lay low for a while. But then she started getting numerous emails saying, “I know what you did last summer.” At first I thought she was exaggerating so I pleaded with her to go on vacation. So she did but stayed in her apartment .We talked about what the next plan was and despite the stress I was sure I loved her more every passing day. Then it happened. According to Olivia, Mellie visited her and brought chicken soup. She didn’t want to take it. She had felt guilty but this woman whose husband she was sleeping with came to see her. She decides to drink it. An hour after she left Livie went to the hospital and had a miscarriage. I went to visit. “She knows Fitz. She killed my baby.”  “No she wouldn’t do that. Get some rest ok.” “I had to be strong for her but my heart was breaking. I had just lost my baby and my Livie was in distress. Two weeks later she came back to work aloof and distant. When I tried to kiss her she shunned me. I became upset. Did she expect me to give up my presidency for her? I needed her to wait but she said she was done waiting. After that dinner and Mellie’s embarrassing remarks she resigned. I pleaded with her but she didn’t budge. Not only had she resigned but she left me utterly empty. I was so codependent on her and she left me. Was she right? Did Mellie do this? I had to know.

“Did you try to poison her?” “Who Olivia? What?” “The day you went to see her did you put anything in her soup.” She smiled then hissed.  “You are a weak bastard you know. Who are you fooling Fitz? Your entire staff knows you are screwing Olivia and that thing”, she spits out.  “It was my baby you had no right, you murderer.” She gives a wicked laugh. “Call the cops I would love to see you try.” “I am protecting you from yourself Fitz. I will not have you bring any lovechild to partake in what is rightfully belongs to my children. People would know the bastard was yours.” “Really but who knew your bastard son isn’t really mine?” With that she slapped me. “How dare you? My son is Fitzgerald Thomas Grant 4.Blue blood runs through his veins and you will keep it that way.” “He deserves to know the truth Mellie.” “That is not an option.”   “So I save you and your son and you kill my baby. That wasn’t the deal Mellie you will pay for this .I could just resign and this will end.” Then she laughed. “Really are you planning to run off together?”  “You wouldn’t dare, admit it Fitz she is just a booty call. You will never give up the Presidency for her.”  “Know this woman, she as a booty call is ten times the woman you will ever be.”  From that moment I knew I was dealing with a dangerous ambitious woman whose hearts was seared with iron.

I missed Olivia but she wouldn’t talk to me. Six months passed by and Mellie recruited Amanda into the White House. “Fitz I brought you a nice decent girl. She will be good for you.” “I am perfectly fine.” You’ll need her soon. I like her. She is a good girl.” “No thanks I will be fine. America needs me. That will keep me busy.”  “Well Amanda is here at anytime”, she offered. Today was Olivia’s birthday. I called but she didn’t pickup. She didn’t even have the decency to call back. It’s been ten months and she hadn’t called not even once. I decide to get drunk that day and then Amanda walked in. “Are you okay sir?” “No she left me and I am here drowning. Why are you women terrible?” “Who”, she asks. I fear I have said too much. “Never mind.” “I like you a lot Mr. President. You are definitely sexy and I can make you feel better.” She attempts to kiss me and I give in. I kissed her back and thought I could dull the pain but the pain was still there so I pushed her away. “No Amanda this is inappropriate.” “But no one has to know let me help you Mr. President.” “But I will know. Go home okay.” She rushed out in anger and the next day fearing her embarrassment I pretended as if it didn’t happen. A month later Cyrus came to me with rumors of my sleeping with Amanda. “I did not do it.” “This is a mess Mr. President” I knew the solution. I would see her again and she would make this scandal go away. “Go see Olivia she will fix this”, I ordered him.


Clean Slate

Chapter 4

I had just resolved a case that really hit home. A young pop star with a pristine image and a reputation as America’s sweetheart had been blackmailed by her married jilted manager. He threatened to release their sex tape in retaliation because she decided to move on without him. Now if she had a bad girl image it would be okay but Ali Slater made her millions as Disney’s biggest sensation since Miley Cyrus. We cut him short in his tracks, destroyed the evidence and in turn blackmailed him. Apparently Mr. Manager had a thing for 14 year old girls and we had that in his illustrious collection of tapes. It felt good to solve people’s problems.

My name is Olivia Pope and that’s what I do. My gladiators and I resolve issues. I have no family but my beloved mother who I barely see. My gladiators are my family. They give me unconditional love and in essence make me a better person. I have to be tough but I also lead with my gut and my heart. The crew and I were determined to celebrate this victory. Ali Slater had given us a bonus of $1 million along with the $500,000 upfront. It felt good. “Olivia, you need to start dating”, Stephen Finch said. “You know I am not normal.” “I want you to be happy, Stephen said sadly.” “You guys make me happy.” “Have you spoken to him lately?” “Who”, I asked playing dumb. “You know who Mr. President.”  “Why should I?” Stephen Finch was a womanizer in the worst way but a darn good friend. He had his issues but he loved helping people. He helped me when I was down and out. I am very private about my emotions but Stephen was like my brother. When he had a mental breakdown I went to be with him in Florida and he never forgot. A year ago I was on the verge of my own nervous breakdown and then I told him. He didn’t judge me he let me cry and said “Liv your secret is safe with me.”  He actually sided with this man, my lover. He said he understood where he was coming from but ultimately he was on my side and would protect me fiercely. Ours was a brother sister love story. He was my brother from a different mother. “No Stephen I have not spoken to the President. Why should I?”  “Today remember.”  “I know it’s his birthday. It’s too painful to see him now.” With that my phone rang. “Hello, Hi Cyrus long times no hear. Maybe tomorrow. Stop by my office.” I wonder what Cyrus wanted to say. It had been so long.


The next day I met him in my waiting room. We hugged. I love this man. He was like a father to me. “How are you Olivia?”  “I am good. How is your mother?”  “I see her occasionally. She enjoys the weather in Florida. Can’t stand DC again.”  “Good.”  “How is James?” “He is fine.” After a brief awkward silence he started. “The President needs to see you.”  “Why?”  “There’s this silly little girl obsessed with him and she’s been telling everyone the President and her are together.”  “Well are they?” “No Fitz and Mellie are determined to make the marriage work. She never leaves his side.”  I shouldn’t be worried but just the thought of their reconciliation worried me. The emotions of last year came flooding back. “I need to see him alone.”  “Come to the White House.”  “No I would prefer he come to Camp David. I need to hear his side of the story before I decide if it’s worth it.”  “Why the animosity. You guys were a great team before. You gave up eighteen months on the trail to get him elected and just up and left. You should be reaping the rewards of your labor. I never got my answer Olivia why did you leave.”  “I just wanted to do my own thing. Besides he has you and I know because of that he will be okay.” “I will give him a call right now.”  Thoughts rushed through my mind. Would he want to talk to me on the phone? “Okay Mr. President I will tell her. Yes 11 am tomorrow. Hold on for her. “Hi”, he said is that deep set voice that use to get to me every time and from my reaction still had the same effect. “Hi Mr. President, how are you.”  “It’s been a stressful year but it is what it is. So Livie Cyrus says 11 tomorrow is okay with you.” “Sure I’ll be there.” Before his voice could draw me in more I hung up.

I thought he was my past but hearing him sent tingles throughout my body. He had so much power over me. My parents’ tumultuous relationship made me a firm believer that I didn’t need any man. My dad used my mom as a punching bag for years. I decided to take Tae Kwando Classes and at 16 when I was good enough I beat him up. My estranged father who had beat up on my mom for as long as I could remember. My mom and I left for the women’s shelter and I never saw Oliver Pope again till I went to visit him on his deathbed. I promised myself I would never give in to any man. I dated in college, had a boyfriend but never let it go too far. Until at 33 I met Fitzgerald Thomas Grant 3.I remember when Cyrus introduced us. Wow he was definitely a looker. About 6’2 with an athletic muscular build and deep gray eyes. Those eyes. It’s like his eyes were his superpower. Like Clinton he could connect with people and empathize. He was a good man. But the thing that got me every time was that voice. I wonder what was it about that voice that made me blush. This was silly I thought. Probably a dumb crush because of the time we spent together. So I backed off and stayed away but the more I distanced myself the more I thought about him. Occasionally locking of eyes and I knew what it was. We were falling for each other. He would stylishly brush his hand against mine, praise me almost ridiculously. He was like a puppy in love. He wasn’t hiding it but I was going to be the grown up and check him or ignore him or so I thought and then that knock in New Hampshire. I should have said no but I couldn’t and when he touched me I was weak. I wanted this so much and we made love and I literally cried because it felt so right emotionally and physically. This was wrong I know but my heart needed my fix. Fitz was my fix. He knew what to do and what to say and I was his. I justified myself by saying this was destiny and he and Mellie were in a loveless marriage. My gut told me it would end badly but the moments we spent together. We made the most of it-the little things, the gestures, his bad jokes and smart Alec attitude. He was definitely my dream guy in my head. But before I knew it I came crashing back to reality. A miscarriage, a break up and the hurt and unresolved feelings came back.

I snapped back to reality as I reached the gates of Camp David. I was so nervous as I entered the room and there he was. My Fitz, well technically he wasn’t anymore. He lit up and smiled. “Livie how are you?” “Fine”, I said and sighed. “Where is Cyrus”, I asked very quickly trying to control the moment. “He had an emergency. I am glad you could come.” With that he flashed a smile and his eyes look directly into mine and I felt like I truly never left his side. He was still my joy, my pain, my medicine, my poison and my love. “Glad to be hear”, I whispered and smiled.



Chapter 5

Clean Slate

I listen to him as he tells me about Amanda Tanner. He seems sincere but I knew Fitz was a man that loved sex and it had been a year. I remembered what Cyrus said. Mellie never left his side. Was he back to being with her? I almost cringe at the thought of him making love with anyone else. “So what do you think?” I was jolted back to reality. “I will handle it Mr. President.” “Livie, really Mr. President?” “Fitz it’s under control.”  “Good how are you? I tried calling you and you never picked up.”  “That’s past we don’t need bring up old ghosts.”  “I am not trying too I just don’t know how you can go through something so intense with someone and just forget them. Eleven months, Livie.”  “I didn’t forget Fitz.”  “It really hurt when you left me.”  “I had to because we were going down a dangerous path of destruction”, I said quietly. “I know I agree but I did love you Livie, I do love you.” With that he took my hands and warmly said, “Thank you for coming and taking on this case.” “It’s nothing”, I replied nervously. “It’s everything”, he said trying to look at me. He hadn’t let go of my hands and I began to feel the heat generate. I had to stop it and kill the chemistry before it went further. “So Cyrus tells me you and Mellie have mend fences.” “Really he said that?” “Yes and its ok she is your wife the mother of your kids and I understand…” and then he interrupted me. “You are the mother of my baby too.” Why did he have to bring up the miscarriage? “Livie the baby would have been born by now. Our baby conceived with passion and love.”  “I should go.”  “No don’t go please I just want to talk to you. I miss you Livie.” “Don’t go,” he said holding my arm so tightly it hurt. I took a deep breath and promised myself I wouldn’t let anything happen. He wanted to talk so we would talk. “So how your mother?”  “She is fine.”  “I went to Florida a few months back to campaign for Senator Roberts and saw her. She is such a lovely woman.”  “Yes she told me. Thank you.” “Seeing her made me happy, it was like seeing something that belongs to you Olivia since I couldn’t see you.” He had the saddest look in his eyes I had ever seen. He started to look into my eyes. Why was he doing this? I shouldn’t let him get to me. “So how are the kids?” “They are good adjusting to life in the White House.” “Livie are you seeing anyone?” “Why?” “Um I was just wondering.” “Are you, Mr. President?” “You know I am not Livie.” “Do you doubt me?” Despite myself I say “Mellie.” “I told you I haven’t been with her in years.” “Livie I haven’t slept literally since you left me. I am taking pills for insomnia.” His suddenly looks bewildered. I proceed to ask him what I wanted to know. “So how do you?” “How do I what?”  I couldn’t say it and as he looked into my eyes. He knew what I was asking.  “You were the last person I promise.” “But I know you Fitz, you are a passionate man.” “Yes I am but the memories of you and I kept me going. Memories of you are seared in my mind.” There is an awkward silence and sexual tension fills the room. And with that deep voice that had been my undoing he whispers, “Let’s make new memories, Livie” Then he kisses me. It felt so good and I felt alive. But I would not let him do this. I pull away and he didn’t chase me but just stared intensely. I knew that look. He was filled with desire and so was I but I would not allow him to draw me back in. Stop looking at me like that,” I say, unable to keep a deep blush from forming and creating a heat that increased the temperature in the room.

“Like what?” Fitz asked innocently, following me as I turned to back him. I just couldn’t look at his beautiful face anymore without losing it.

His hand grips my shoulders gently and he was standing behind me. He leans so close and I feel his desire so close to me. He begins to whisper salaciously in my ears then kisses my collarbone. I was drowning as his lips touched the base of my neck. He turned me to him and his eyes danced with desire. His entire body buzzes with energy, his warm breath against the side of my neck and his words made me dizzy with need.
His lips curve into a decidedly sly smile and I was weak. I need him now more than he needs me. It was going to happen. You are all I have been thinking about Livie I need you. Save me sweet baby save me,” he confesses in a husky whisper and suddenly I feel his pain because I feel the same way. “ Make love to me Fitz, please make love to me I am ready,” I assure him as I stretch my  head forward and my mouth molds to the side of his neck, tasting and inhaling his strong aroma.  
In the end, it doesn’t matter when he slides against my flesh and a slow build of heat and longing so sweet his groan of contentment catches in his throat. In spite of his haste to join us we rock lazily together, unwilling to bring it to a quick and inevitable conclusion. His controlled movements give way as I breathe against his ear and my arms tighten around him. He lifts his head from my shoulder, drunkenly consumed by the need to find my mouth. He finds my lips half parted in a sigh of pleasure and I feel his pace and his pulse quicken. We’ve taken it slow long enough and in complete agreement with him I meet his lips in a bruising kiss, inhaling swiftly as a moan tears free from my throat. 

“Yes -” I gasp as a particularly thorough thrust evokes an immediate fluttering so good it makes my muscles clench from head to toe and everywhere in between from the intensity. “There,” I finish, just in time to do it again as Fitz hits his mark. He was such a good lover and I wasn’t shy to tell him so. It was always like that for us. He takes me to the top of the mountain many times and I give in and waves of passion flow through my body. He was such an attentive lover. I urge him on to reach his peak as well and he does with a deep hungry kiss and with those passionate eyes locked on mine.

I enjoy this moment as much as Fitz does. He’s virtually silent, his head down and his posture completely relaxed and pulls me into his arms. “Thank you,” he utters gratefully just before capturing my lips in a sensuously slow kiss. He ends the kiss but doesn’t move away – we’re still nose to nose, breathing each other in. Between his strong masculine smell and my warm and supple body pressed against him from neck to knee, I can’t imagine anything more erotic. But we had to get back to reality. I reach around him and give him an appreciative tap on the butt before getting up. “Where are you going”, he asks.  “I have to work on your case”, I interject. “But”  “No buts Fitz, time is of the essence”, I say and give him a light kiss and I start dressing. “This was magical Livie. I miss you. When will I see you again?” “I don’t know Fitz. Let’s deal with this issue first.” “You amaze me .How do you switch from the most passionate creature I have been with to the workaholic.”  I smile sweetly and say, “That’s my job.” “You know I love fixing things.” Fully dressed now I head for the door. He reaches out for my hand. “Thank you Livie for fixing me. I love you. Just know that I still do. We can work things out”. I smile and silently leave. What was I getting myself into? I couldn’t resist him.


Clean Slate

Chapter 6

I am determined to get to bottom of Amanda Tanner’s case. Away from the euphoria that is Fitz I get an uneasy feeling. Is this doubt? Fitz would not lie. He proved to me today that I was the only one for him. You can’t fake the love we share. I try and calm myself down.


“Huck I need you to get information on Amanda Tanner. Anything you can get and everything from high school till now.”

“I am on it Olivia.”

Huck Finn is tech savvy guy. He was part of the black ops after school but eventually had a nervous breakdown. It does that to you when you see things that people don’t see every day.

He had asked for $1 to buy food and I always make it a point to look in people’s eyes because I believe everyone has a story to tell and it’s in the eyes. Those eyes looked so wounded so I did something crazy.


“Come with me let’s get you cleaned up and then we can get you something warm to eat.”

His eyes lit up and he told me his horrifying story. My gut told me I could trust him. I took him home and gradually with help from my good friend who is a therapist. He was able to work through his pain and that is how he became Huck the ever reliable one.


Professor Thad Ryder knocked on the door and I wondered what this new case would bring.

“Olivia Pope I need you to fix this. I can’t lose all I’ve worked for.”

“Calm down and tell me about it.”


Prof Thad Ryder was married to Amber Ryder. He was a perfect husband who would give anything to keep his family together. Amber had an obsessive desire to be a mother and this was causing cracks in the marriage. Unknown to his wife Thad is sterile but doesn’t tell her.

Instead he pays Damian Cole to woo his wife, sleep with her and impregnate her. Amber falls for Damian without knowing the two men are in cahoots. It breaks his heart that Amber gives in but he needs to make this perfect. He needs to please his wife. Always the perfectionist he is determined to raise Stephanie as his own daughter.

Then out of the blue Damian comes back into the picture and wants to tell Amber the whole story. He has seen Stephanie and he wants his daughter. Thad’s life is now a mess. He and Amber have found their way back to each other and if Damian tells her he was the mastermind he could lose both Amber and Stephanie.

He could not let that happen. He offers Damian money but Damian doesn’t want the money. My job is to convince Damian Cole that this would not be a good idea. This will be a hard case. People are drawn together by blood. But I feel we can get to him because at the end of the day biology is not the only factor that determines who a parent is.

“We will do our best Professor Ryder.”

“Thank you so much.”

This would be a hard case, but I am determined to help the professor.

After 3 hours of brainstorming with Stephen, Huck comes in.

“Olivia we need to talk.”

“Ok so what’s up with Amanda Tanner?”

“She is a good kid who came to Washington to help women. Nothing fishy at all except considering the fact that she works for the President she was obsessed with Vice President Sally Hemming   becoming President and even launched a Facebook page –Operation Women Take over the White House.”

“How is that? She would have been screened.”


“She also used her alias name Margaret Thatcher to operate it. It’s weird because she has two separate identities. She is known as Maggie T as well as Amanda Tanner.

“How did the White House miss this?”

“Contact her. Tell her we have something important to tell her.”


“Who was this Amanda girl and if what Huck was saying was correct she had a hidden agenda against the president.”

“Just called she will meet you at Jefferson Park in an hour.”


“How are you”, I ask Amanda with a smile.

‘I am good. So what’s this about?”

Amanda was a pretty girl. Blonde hair and beautiful blue eyes but she seemed a bit disturbed and disheveled.

“I understand you enjoy your job at the White House.”

“I do I love serving my country and the president.”

“Well your service is no longer needed. Your obsession with him has to come to an end now. No more delusional fantasies you are finished in Washington.”

“You know?”

“I know you are lying.”

“Ok I admit I didn’t like him I wanted to Vice President to win because I believe women are the ones that would make a difference for tomorrow, but he drew me in.”

“We had a secret spot under the trees .He called me ‘sweet baby’. I know it meant something to him. I am not lying. He said he was unhappy and he said he loved me.”



“Don’t you get it? I am sure I am not the first woman he has done this to neither will I be the last. He reels women in, takes advantage of them then dumps them like garbage. He will pay. I am not going down without a fight.”

With that she walked away.

She left me hyperventilating. That uneasy feeling was my gut. He had an inappropriate encounter with this young lady and had the audacity to send me to fix his mess.


Suddenly I feel dirty. It meant nothing to him. He had just taken advantage of me. What was I thinking? He has been cheating on Mellie so why didn’t I ever consider he would do the same to me. My fairytale was over. The illusion of love between Fitz and I died there and then.

I question whether I should confront him and give in. I have to see him.


Clean Slate

Chapter 7

Fitz point of view


It felt so right being with Olivia. I am hoping she comes back. I need her to realize she is not my mistress. She is the love of my life. My soul mate.  She is even more beautiful than before. I had to see her again. I love this woman.

“Mr. President”, Cyrus says as and snaps me back to reality.


“So will she help us”?

“She believes me”.

“It doesn’t matter what she believe she just needs to handle this issue immediately.”

“There is something I need to tell you Cyrus”.

I had been lying to myself. Yes I did push Amanda away but this girl wanted me. I hadn’t felt this wanted since Olivia. I even felt the American people wouldn’t want me if they knew who I really was inside.

“Larry I need you to go to Ms Tanner’s apartment. Bring her here. She didn’t finish what I asked her to do”, I told my Secret Service Agent.

Yes Mr. President.

“So you called for me.”

“Yes. I need you now.”

“Music to my ears”, she says and we have sex. I feel dirty and ashamed but it feels good and having sex with Amanda numbs my pain. For a brief instance I forget Olivia. After all she left me.

“Will I see you again”, she asked with eager eyes when it’s done.

“No Amanda this never happened. This condom is proof that you and I never happened. Go home.”

“Is that all?”

“Do you like dogs?”


“ I will buy you a dog.”

“Okay’, she says with an awkward pause. “Thank you if you need me again…”

“I won’t”, I say interrupting her.


“Cyrus I slept with Amanda.”

“What why? I thought you were working on your marriage?”

“Cy my marriage is stone cold. We just learned to tolerate each other.”

“We have to tell Olivia.”

“No she doesn’t need to know.”

“Mellie knew about the other women why you didn’t tell her about Amanda?”

“My way of knowing she doesn’t have full control over me.”

“Mr. President you are not a frat boy. You can’t do this. Who else knows she slept with Amanda?”

“Larry my SS guy knows.”

“We have to get rid of him.”

“No Cyrus. Olivia will handle this.”

“You are making my work hard. Is there any other secret you are hiding from me?”

“I need to know now.”

I think to myself to tell him about Olivia and decide not to. She is my precious bit of heaven. I won’t go there.

“No Cyrus that’s all.”


At 10 pm I am still in the Oval Office looking through personal files and she walks in.

“Olivia this is a surprise”, I say smiling.

But she looked sad. I knew there and then she knew what happened.

“How dare you?”

“I can explain.”

I feel my heart sinking. Who told her?

“It happened once and it was nothing, Livie.”

“You bastard. You used me today just like you used that girl.”

“No it was different. I promise. I was very sad and unhappy. I couldn’t sleep.”

“So she helped you sleep. Sweet baby really .How could you? You are a pig. I can’t believe I let you touch me today”, she said crying profusely.

I feel her pain and grab her and try to explain.

“Livie it meant nothing. You left me I was vulnerable that’s all. It wasn’t an affair. She pursued me. I am sorry. I felt empty.”

“No you took advantage of her like you did me. How many others is there Fitz?”

“Answer me how many mistresses have you had.”

“Livie don’t do this.”

“I want to know.”

“Before you they meant nothing. Mellie knew about them. It all starts and ends with you. You are my forever.”

“Please believe me”, I say and pin her against the wall.

“So I wasn’t the first one. My God why Fitz? Let me go. I hate you right now. I hate you.”

By this time we are both weeping. She collapses against me  and we are hugging desperately and weeping.

“Why”, she asks over and over.

I can’t lose her again.

“I am sorry. Look at me Livie. I love you.”

“Come back to me. I am begging you.”

“Can I kiss you”, I ask desperately rambling on holding on to her for dear life.

Before she can say no I pin her to the wall and with our tears mingling together I kiss her as if my life depends on it thinking perhaps the magic of our kiss would silence her doubts. It seems to be working as she kisses me back.

Then the door opens.

“Mr. President.”


“I came to check on you.”

“I was just going”, she says still obviously in pain.

“Olivia wait”, I say.

“No you and Cyrus should talk.”

“She meant nothing”, I cry out as she walks out.

I know I am going to get it from Cyrus.

“Mr. President you went there with my girl.”

“Cyrus I am sorry but we fell in love.”

“I asked you if you were hiding anything. You said no.”

“I couldn’t tell you about her.”

“Why not?”

“Because you have a personal relationship with her.”

I pause.

“Cyrus she is the love of my life.”

“Not Mellie not Amanda. Olivia is my soul mate,” I say trying to hold back fresh tears.

“Why didn’t I see this?”

“This is going to be a problem Mr. President.”


“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

“Olivia would never hurt me she loves me. She left because of Mellie’s tricks.”

“You just put your head on platter for not one but two mistresses.”

“Cyrus, I need you to listen to me. Don’t ever equate Olivia with Amanda or anyone else for that matter. She is no mistress. She is my girl. My life. It ends with her. You hear me don’t ever call her my mistress.”

“I need to see her”,  Cyrus says rolling his eyes and walks out.






Chapter Two


Stepping out of the cab Olivia saw the most beautiful, serene house before her.

“Everything we need is here. And maybe later we can go to the mall or the market. You will love it here….”

She heard him rambling but felt a little uneasy. Her grandmother wasn’t poor by any means.They were middle class and happy, but Fitz had to be wealthy. This made her uncomfortable. She wanted to leave but she felt kindness in his voice and the need to be accepted. He wasn’t stuck up. He was one those lucky ones that could put things in perspective. How she could read him so well amazed her.

“Ok let’s go in then”, she said nervous but excited at the same time.

“Oui m’dame”.

“Merci beaucoup”.

“So you speak French?”

“Yes Fitz as well as German, Spanish, English, Swahili and Creole.”

“Wow you are amazing. I just speak French and English.”

“That’s good enough; show me where I am sleeping. I am so tired.”

He gave her the master bedroom because he said he believed strangers could be angels and should be treated well. He was so cute and corny and definitely sheltered. She wondered if he had a girlfriend but scolded herself for such a dumb thought.

“Thanks Fitz. I mean it. One week. I was promised a temp job which could turn to an intern at ‘Ogilvy and Mathers’. I got a recommendation but it’s not set in stone but I am confident I will get it.”

“So you came all the way from Atlanta on the whims that you would get a job. That’s guts.”

“I trust my gut and not all of us are trust fund babies like you Fitzgerald.”

“I am going to help people one day. That’s all I ever wanted to do. And I am about to get that platform.”


“I’m running for Mayor one day.”

“You are likeable you would probably win.”

“A compliment from Ms Pope?”

“I can be really nice you know”, she said hoping she didn’t look like she was flirting.

“Nice looks good on you.”

“Well I am tired. So I’ll take a shower and sleep.”

Once again he found himself staring. He didn’t mean too, he had hoped they would talk throughout the night.

“Fitz, um I need to lock the door so hate to tell you to go because it’s your house but I am tired.”

“Oh sure I just thought you’d be hungry or something.”

“I am too tired to eat.”

“Okay that’s fine. I am famished so I’ll step out to get something.”

“Goodnight”, he said turning to leave.

“Fitz wait.”


“Thank you. I hope to repay the favor…”

“Don’t worry you just did.”


“Being here that’s enough.”

“Sweet dreams Olivia”, he said with a grin and left.


Was he flirting or just being nice? She tried to sleep but she couldn’t. All she could think of was his voice like silky chocolate and that smile. She wondered how it would feel to kiss him. She was sure he had a girlfriend. No one that good could be single. Well she definitely wasn’t going to ask.

After getting something to eat, he came home and tried to follow the movie on his flat screen television but all he thought about was Olivia. He was eager to get to know this person. He smiled as thoughts of the day replayed in his head and then his phone rang. It was Mellie. It was 2 am in Paris and 8 pm in South Carolina.


“Hi yourself, why didn’t you call?”

“Really Mellie, I just had a grueling flight and all you can say is why haven’t I called?”

“Well your mom said you called her.”

“Mellie, Mother called me. You could have called.”

“You are just mad because I didn’t come over…”

“Mellie it’s okay. I will call you tomorrow. I am so tired he said yawning.”

“Ok well I changed my mind about the powered blue and I think we should go with purple.”

“That’s fine. I trust you completely.”

“Why do I get the feeling you are pushing me away?”

“No idea.”


But he knew why. She interrupted the naughty thoughts he had about another woman. He had never cheated on her. Not even an emotional affair. He wondered if what he was doing now could be termed an emotional affair. He had usually let her talk and ramble on because she was the strong one and it was either her way or the highway. He had thought it was cute to have a strong confident woman but as time went by she solidified her status as the one who wore the pants and ‘change’ was something foreign to Mellie. The only control he had was when he called her ‘Rosy’. Mellie’s cheeks always grew red when she blushed or laughed and the fondest memory he had was when at age 12 he gave the name ‘Rosy’ and it stuck. Everyone knew Fitz called her ‘Rosy’. That was the only gift he gave her that she appreciated even now at 24 she still loved that pet name.

“Rosy I got to go okay. I miss you already”, he said as a bit of guilt washed over him.

She paused and he thought she was gone.

“I miss you too Fitz. I just need this wedding to be perfect. Goodnight my love.”

“Goodnight Rosy.”

With that he dozed off.


Olivia woke up to noise coming from the kitchen.

“What happened”, she asked concerned.

“I wanted to make French toast and I burnt it.”

He looked very disappointed.

“Wow burnt toast. Can you cook at all?”

“I can boil eggs.”


“Good morning to you too Miss Perfect.”

“I am sorry but not surprised”, she said laughing.

“Well my housekeeper starts work today and should here any minute. I managed to make honeyed fruit salad. And there’s fresh milk and cereal.”

“Thank you I will help myself. The fruit salad looks good”, she said tasting it.

“Thank you.”

Jacques, the chauffeur arrived and Fitz managed to convince Olivia to tag along to Beaucaire, a pretty little place, with parks situated all along the canal banks. Fortunately today was Fete du Drac, a traditional festival in honor of the town’s dragon mascot. He had been to one but wanted her to experience it. She seemed to be having a good time. They packed lunch the cook prepared and decided to have a little picnic in one of the parks.

“This place is lovely”, she said contently.

“My favorite place in the world. My sister and I have so much fond memories here.”

“You have a sister?”

“Yes I do. She’s my twin.”

“What’s her name?”

“Sarah. Dr. Sarah Grant. She is the greatest.”

“So does she live in South Carolina too?”

“She attends Duke University of Medicine in Durham, North Carolina. She is a resident there.” “Sarah is the smartest one in the Grant family. She will make one heck of a doctor.”

“You are one proud brother. I am sure she will, but you seem smart too Fitz.”

“Thanks. Then there’s Francis. My annoying kid brother who’s going to Wharton for his MBA in the fall.”

“Nice name.”

“Love the kid. He is business savvy just like my dad.”

“And who are you like?”

“Both. I look like my Dad but Mother and I have kindred spirits.”

They spent the next two hours talking. It felt like the right thing to do. Fitz told her everything about him from being a Momma’s boy to desperately wanting his father’s approval. Fitzgerald Thomas Grant Jr. loved his son but felt he was a tad bit too soft. He was the CEO of Grant Enterprises and had all the money a man could have. He wanted power. He had two sons and it was decided that the younger one Francis would eventually take over the company, but his oldest son, the gentler one would go into politics. Fitz wanted to help people and felt there were many ways to do it but the old man was calling the shots and politics was the only way Fitz could go. He would live vicariously through his son.


“Olivia I am hungry, help yourself.”


She wanted too eat but she was having so much fun and she was suddenly shy to eat in front of Fitz. She watched him as he dug into his chicken sandwich. Didn’t she meet him yesterday? It was as if she had known him forever. She did manage to eat a little eventually.

It was 9:55 and the sun was setting.

“Have you ever seen anything more beautiful”, she asked in total awe.

“Yes. You.”

He was not trying to flirt. He meant it. She had a beautiful soul. She had an angelic quality about her.

“Um…You don’t mean that”, she said nervously.

“I do and yes the sunset in South of France is gorgeous and breathtaking, but so are you Olivia Pope.”

This was too much for her.

Blushing she managed to mutter “thank you”.

Suddenly the playful side of Fitz took over.

“The High and Mighty Ms Pope is shy”, he said teasing her.

“I am not.”

“You are.”

“Embrace it Olivia. That’s you.”

“You mean being shy?”

“No being beautiful. It’s you.”

“Let’s go Olivia.”

“Jacques must be fed up of waiting.”

Who was this man? Day two and she felt slowly, but surely he was spinning his magical web around her.